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RE: The Gods of Love and War - Part 1 (Short Fiction)
This read like a noir to me, very monochrome except for Emily's red dress (it may not have been red but it looked a very saturated red to me, to go with very red lips XD) and this crazy splash of purple that was Sofia.
Not sure if that's what you were intending, but then I do tend to read/see things oddly. Well written, I quite enjoyed it :)
Yes there is only minor mention of colour, so I can see how you would visualise a monochromatic scene. It's interesting that it plays like a noir, perhaps from the first person POV. No right or wrong on these things. There are 2 more parts to come so it would be interesting to hear whether that sense continues.
I didn't have a particularly noir feel in my head when writing, but that isn't so relevant to what you perceive. But it doesn't clash or detract from what I intended, which was primarily an exploration of the human need for external validation. I was more primarily focused on the theme, and went from there.
Thank you for the feedback, and glad you enjoyed it.
I usually visualise in colour so seeing things in monochrome is unusual. I think the way the narrator character was describing things in this kind of calm but intense way got me into that feel, like those hard boiled detectives that knew that dame was trouble as soon as she walked into the office 😆
I can see how the POV can create that imagery in your mind. And those old B&W detective noirs have a striking effect, so I'm with you there.
And they always seem to know they're trouble, but proceed anyway. I guess the difference here is that the narrator is a detective, but only really in search of himself.
They wouldn't be able to have a story if the detective didn't proceed despite knowing that there was trouble XD And it's kind of expected in their line of work right ;)
I did pick up on that search for himself after the Sofia part (but not in so many words, I don't always thoroughly explain what I think XD), the Emily part did a pretty good job of setting that up :)
Ah yes, the dame that was sweetness and light. It would make for a short, and unfulfilling read. So I see your point :)
Each relationship is linked, but Emily's needed to be first. I found it set up the premise better. Glad that it came across that way.
@naquoya and noir go hand-in-hand, mate. Truly one of the best noir writers here! He kind of puts the noir to all manners of genre.
LoL! He didn't let on, now I know XD
I was going to break it to you gently :)