You are viewing a single comment's thread from:
RE: Johnny's Journey - A writing exercise using a bunch of descriptive words.
That difference was 'uuuuggggeee. I didn't think descriptive words would make that big a difference.
So, when Johnny ran outside, did he go ppphhhhtttt in the heat like a bug hitting a zapper?
So I'm guessing you like the second one more? I like them both but the first one definitely gets to the action quicker.
I'm really not sure what would have happened if you encountered 864 degrees Fahrenheit. I think you would probably melt in a few minutes... but your eyes would probably burst within a few seconds. I'd have to investigate more.
Reluctantly(?) I have to say I like the second one best. I say reluctantly because I appreciate getting straight to the point most of the time. However, this is a fiction story so the descriptive words add to the experience.