Short Story - Haunted House

in #fiction6 years ago (edited)

This is my entry into the @markrmorrisjr - Write a paragraph about this contest...

“...and this is the living room”, directed James Proudfoot, the local estate agent, gesturing with his hands at a musty, dark, dilapidated, empty room on the South side of the house. “This place needs a lot of work," sighed Steven Crenshaw. “Yes, but is accounted for in the price”, countered Proudfoot. Crenshaw was Head of Social Services, had been tasked with exploring vacant properties in the district with a view to establishing childcare facilities. Crenshaw, seemingly doing a value estimate in his head, blurted out a “We’ll take it”. In a single motion, Proudfoot produced an offer to purchase and a pen, from nowhere it seemed – his inability to sell this property was an albatross around his neck; and he wanted to put this project to bed. “Um, just one last thing...” Proudfoot weaselled in, “...there are rumours that this house is haunted”. Crenshaw was an ardent pragmatist and he wasn’t going to let some supernatural mambo-jumbo stand in the way of a great deal. “Don’t worry about that, the 25 brats we intend housing here are quite capable of raising hell, on their own.” he chuckled. “Where do I sign?” He enquired and sealed the deal. As the men drove off down the dusty road, windows rattled, floorboards creaked and doors swung – in protest of the impending invasion.

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Flash fiction at its finest! Good stuff - made me chuckle ( hope that was somewhat the intention - otherwise I missed something) I'll be following to see what else you post.

@emwalker - Thank-you for the comment and support. I'm somewhat of a reluctant writer and it's only in the last two weeks that I've decided to explore these writing contests. Yes, unlike my writing ability - my sense of humour is well developed. :) I followed you back.

You write quite well. Much better than most who claim to be writers. My only real suggestion would be lighten up a bit more. It read great but felt a bit stiff / formal - i got the impression that was intended for thematic effect - but it was a little much - That could just be a personal taste thing on my end.

The contests here are great for inspiration - sometimes it's fun to have a prompt and just go nuts.

@emwalker - Thank you for the suggestion, I hadn't quite realized that. Having read it with your perspective in mind - I suspect the formality creeps in - in an attempt to set the scene OR have you placed you finger on some other culprit?

Indeed, the prompts are the incentive, up until now I couldn't possibly imagine writing a paragraph about a random picture.

Buenas reflexiones no deja este cuento..Saludos

Gracias cariña. Que tengas un gran día.

Igual para ti...Un abrazo.

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