La Petite Mort - One Paragraph Short Story
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6 years ago in #fiction by raj808 (71)
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This is so good - I love the title too!
Thanks. Yeah, that's about as sophisticated as a scouser gets, 😉 picking a french title. In all seriousness though, I always usually have a problem thinking up titles but this one was easy.
I know what you mean, naming things is normally one of the hardest parts! I love it when one just fits though.
Lol - french in a scouse accent - now that I have to hear!
You got me at the French title!:0) I don't see too many posts in French outside the #fr tag. Nice read!
I'm glad you enjoyed it @lymepoet. I felt like the title fitted with the story. It came to me in a flash as I was fumbling around in my mind for a good title. Thanks for stopping by and reading this fiction :-)
This was such a lovely read. It always surprises me how we can say so much using so little words. Good job 💚
Thanks @zen-art. I always find it difficult in these constrained writing challenges to create a full story. Ha ha, when it is a one paragraph challenge I prefer to just try and create a scene as perfectly as I can and concentrate on imagery and feelings. Like a glimpse into someones mind kinda thing rather than trying for too much plot etc. Thanks for stopping by and reading this fiction :-)
Every word is right, even/especially the uenexpected "treacle" - and what a dastardly trick, you, the French distraction, ("the little death") - well, I've heard romantic encounters (French connections?) described as "little deaths," so maybe, maybe, the merging was not an ending of his life, but a beginning of a .... all right! The siren lures him to a watery grave! Fine! I'll overlook that part and treasure lines like this: *I heard just the slightest tremble of her moan in the hollow spaces inside me. I drowned in that sound, * and even if he does die, it was probably worth it. *sigh
Really beautiful prose. Poetic. I'm in awe.
And trying not to think "He drowns! For real, not just metaphorically!"
Yes, I'd like to be able to say I know for sure but it was one of those stories that had a few meanings in my mind. It is, partly, just a rather poetic expression of La Petite Mort, from a male perspective. Cough cough, I shall say no more about that lol. But also, I did have associations with Sirens in my mind as I wrote it, I was on the cusp of making it more obvious that it was a siren seducing a man to his death but then as I got toward the end, I thought the implication was better. As it's such a short form I thought that if I left more space for the story to be populated in the readers mind it would be better than spelling it out. Thanks for your comment reading Carol, I'm so glad you enjoyed it :-)
Implications (cough, cough - LOL!) add a lot to the story. A siren luring a man to his death - ok. But the possibility of other interpretations makes me like the story that much more. Well done! Provocative - on so many levels :)