Heart's Medleys

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Hey, cupcake...

I wish the silence could attest to how I longed to call you this.
I hate that the darkness is the only witness to my silent brooding.
I wish there was some way to 'italicturn back the hands of time'
To the times I could 'italicsee you again.'
The times we were 'italiccloser.'
It's a shame how now I wish I had made you 'italicstay'...
'italicStay with me.'

Turns out all I needed to see you for what you really are
Was a peek through the 'italiceyes of God.'
I'm guessing 'italicsorry' is now farfetched
For the way I treated you.
'italicPlease forgive me' for being 'italicjealous' of the woman you've become,
Very unlike the fool I thought of you.
Not the mediocre either.

I was the 'italicfool again,'
For the hurting words that drove you to tears,
Ruined what we had, and left me 'italicshut out of paradise.'
italic'I'm way too good at goodbyes,'
You should know.
It's my only selfish defence — 'italicgoodbyes' —
To protecting my innocence,
To protecting my soul.
The greater strength of all my weaknesses.

And like a 'italicbird set free' you'd leapt from the hurt
And had found 'italicsomeone like you,'
Truly deserving of you,
Loving your imperfect perfections.
All you ever wanted
Was to be 'italicQueen of my heart,'
The key to 'italicall of me,'
My 'italicone and only.'

Perhaps searching for the 'italicgood in me'
From the 'italicmonster' I was and still am
Was far from what I wanted.

And not even your cries of 'italicte amour'
Had made me receptive of the fact
That we are but 'italicordinary people,'
Having no control over emotions.

It's too late for wishes now but I should've taken things slow and made it 'italicwork.'

Now all that I have left of you
Is what little memories we shared.
Memories of which I'm now 'italicrunning low.'
Memories of 'when I was your man.'

Perhaps it was 'italicall in my head'
That you couldn't leave and would 'wait for me'
As you always had.
How wrong I'd been. Again.

Now my eyes, like the cloud, are heavy.
'italicIt'll rain,' cupcake. Rain.
Crystal clear rivers of hidden emotions flowing,
Concoursing in a delta over the delicate climax of my cheek's outline.

I hate that it took me so long to admit to this;
But of 'italicyou and I,' you're the 'italicperfect' one.