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He died consciously, but some parts of him feared the passage, don't forget, he was a man too. He knew he had to go through all that, the humiliation and pain, but on the cross there was a moment of despair, he called for the Father "Why did you abandon me?"

I find difficult to believe that a man like Him has feared death.
We speak about someone who initiated in to every occult school of his time for many years.
I guess we have to search more into His words and meanings.

Maybe you're right.

That is a mystery that I hope to understand before I die :-)

I hope you do :D
Personally, I have given it a thought, we are born alone and we die alone, when you get to know yourself and feel confident about you and your conscience is clear, you will step forward and your soul will answer to that call from the afterlife. Eventhough you will fear the unknown, you will steadily keep on going, with your "eyes" open and every inch of your existence absorbing positive energy from this new dimention you will be.
And now I remembered an ancient greek saying Ἤν ἐγγύς ἔλθῃ θάνατος, οὐδείς βούλεται θνήσκειν, meaning: when death is close, nobody wants to die. We only try to be prepared and accept our inescapable fate.
Wow! You made me delirious I guess :P
Sorry for the mumbling...

Many ancient languages had two words for what in most modern languages there is only the one, ie. to "die"

One of the words had a meaning something like "die like a dog"
The other had a meaning something like "die like a man"

I didn't know about other languages, but in greek we do have separate verbs for that, the one πεθαίνω is die for humans and the other one ψοφάω is die for animals and also used when talking in a disrespectful way of someone's death.

I knew there must have been a reason I came to Greece to die :-)

Although I suspect that modern Greek has lost some of the original sense of the difference in meaning of the two verbs.

"I knew there must have been a reason I came to Greece to die " Hey, let's not speak like that.

We have lost a lot from our language unfortunately, but this is another loooong topic.
I'll leave this one here, I've been listening to it for about half an hour on repeat, it's one of my favorites and fits perfectly for the "small" hours (as we call the hours after midnight) and endless dreaming with our eyes open...

I plan to grow old first! LOL

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