I read a lot of fantasy and sci-fi so i can definitely get into this one. What i think that you have done really well here is to define your characters and give them personality and characteristics. It's important for any good story to have this as people need to believe in the characters and get into their mindset to really like the story and to get lost in what you have written. I thinks its a very positive side to what you have done here.
One thing constructively is that i found this reference a little out of place but that might just be me.....
Vasquez said he'd be easy enough to spot. She was right. He stuck out like a sore thumb. Short and portly, he looked like the results of what would happen if that classic early 21st century actor Jack Black and some Hobbit had a lovechild. "
Hello Naillon11!
First of all thank you for the constructive comment. I'm a fledgling writer with next to no experience under my belt and am still trying to figure things out. Comments like yours help me to hone my craft and make a more enjoyable read for everybody. So please feel free to at any time.
As for the characters, I see them very vividly in my head and then struggle to get in words what i see. But its definitely something I strive to do with each one of them. It would be my wishes that the reader begins to identify with the characters, develops favourites and becomes interested in their individual story lines and how they intertwine with each other.
Thank you for reading and I hope I can continue to write material you enjoy.
Best,
Steemydave