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RE: Birth of the Chosen - A Short Story
Great read! Your have some very visual imagery going on here. If I were to offer one suggestion, it would be to format the dialog text like normal dialog like you'd see in a book. No need for italics, the quote marks will do the work for you.
Thanks for your comment and feedback. I wasn't quite sure how to do the dialog, so I'll take your suggestion to heart and make changes on my next one. Thanks for the encouragement. I'm glad you enjoyed.