Yeah, that’s an issue with very bright children, especially when they’ve already figured out that they are smarter than the people around them. I have a similar issue with Gray. He knows he’s smarter than most of the grownups in his life. But, as I keep carping at him, he may be more intellectually gifted than most, but those adults still have decades of real world life experience on him and wisdom to impart from that experience. I always tell him, “No matter how old you are, we [his dad and I] will ALWAYS be forty years of experience ahead of you!”
I don't know if you remember but I was once a substitute teacher and have dealt with a lot of gifted children, some with atrocious behavioural issues. Grey doesn't sound all that bad. Maybe just wilful ... these children were downright disrespectful. I am pretty clever in that I have a large pool of knowledge and understanding to draw upon and think very quickly on my feet. This means I could often 'outsmart' those in a verbal discussion who might actually have a higher overall IQ. I am a super quick processor and see connection usually before others. I could usually win them over ... because I gained their respect. Perhaps, Grey needs to understand there are all kind of intelligences and gifts. He is part of the overall wonder of it and may have a very specialized gift but he is as dependent on these other intelligences as they are on him. For example, without a mother who is gifted in nurture, he would not grow as well physically or mentally. He wouldn't be as smart, maybe not gifted at all. More appreciation of what others provide for him might help some and a clear understanding that you are the parent and he is the child. His preference is important and should be taken into consideration but those who provide for him get to make the final decisions.
My child working more on being a comic genius ... trust me ... you have it easier. But things go a lot easier for me when I take my own advice and appreciate my little Jim Carrey in the making:)
Don’t get me wrong… Gray is a wonderful person. (And, it’s G-r-a-y because it’s short for “Graham.”) Even his teachers keep telling me what a “great person” and a “wonderful human being” he is. But, yes, he is willful in the extreme. I don’t think he sees himself as smarter than me except in his tech realm – he is rather a phenom; his tech-skills reputation is how he got into the Health Science Academy for high school.
Still, I do see him being sometimes disrespectful in his willfulness, especially with others. I think he’s also often careful with me because my health worries him.
Actually, the biggest problem he’s been facing is that his IEP hasn’t grown with him as he’s been evolving into his maturity. It’s still essentially the same program as he began with in the second grade. IEP is an Individualized Educational Program; in his case, it was structured to address his ADHD. Unfortunately, the program still treats him the same way it did when he was seven – he’s 14 now. The IEP team was hyper focused on his every move and jumped on him to quash him at every turn, even seizing his tech and impairing his functionality in school. They don’t have textbooks and half the time there’s not even paper assignments. It’s almost exclusively tech now. But, the IEP team seems to act as if the tech is some invasive assault that they must put down. Admittedly, he remains impulsive and distractible, but is developing what seems to me to be an appropriate system for him to self-discipline, rather than the system his IEP has always sought to impose upon him – even punishing him for trying to organize his own way. On top of his IEP infantilizing him, I’m afraid there’s at least an unconscious bias against his Middle Eastern heritage. Certainly, he’s dealing with bullying over it from other students.
At any rate, I’ve pulled him from the IEP because it had become detrimental to his emotional wellbeing and his academic success. He felt like they were trying to crush him. And, I have to say, that from my perspective, it did seem like they were trying to break him, to make him conform to an infantilized, march to their drum ideal. I tried to work with them and not make waves – he begged me most of the time not to intervene, though he’s been miserable in the program for over a year. He’s the same way about the bullying. He believed my intervention can only make things worse – classic bullied-kid response. I just couldn’t stand back any longer. I’m glad I pulled him. He seems to have had a weight lifted off him.
She is a child who is smarter than her parents and not-yet guided to compassion.
Yeah, that’s an issue with very bright children, especially when they’ve already figured out that they are smarter than the people around them. I have a similar issue with Gray. He knows he’s smarter than most of the grownups in his life. But, as I keep carping at him, he may be more intellectually gifted than most, but those adults still have decades of real world life experience on him and wisdom to impart from that experience. I always tell him, “No matter how old you are, we [his dad and I] will ALWAYS be forty years of experience ahead of you!”
I don't know if you remember but I was once a substitute teacher and have dealt with a lot of gifted children, some with atrocious behavioural issues. Grey doesn't sound all that bad. Maybe just wilful ... these children were downright disrespectful. I am pretty clever in that I have a large pool of knowledge and understanding to draw upon and think very quickly on my feet. This means I could often 'outsmart' those in a verbal discussion who might actually have a higher overall IQ. I am a super quick processor and see connection usually before others. I could usually win them over ... because I gained their respect. Perhaps, Grey needs to understand there are all kind of intelligences and gifts. He is part of the overall wonder of it and may have a very specialized gift but he is as dependent on these other intelligences as they are on him. For example, without a mother who is gifted in nurture, he would not grow as well physically or mentally. He wouldn't be as smart, maybe not gifted at all. More appreciation of what others provide for him might help some and a clear understanding that you are the parent and he is the child. His preference is important and should be taken into consideration but those who provide for him get to make the final decisions.
My child working more on being a comic genius ... trust me ... you have it easier. But things go a lot easier for me when I take my own advice and appreciate my little Jim Carrey in the making:)
Don’t get me wrong… Gray is a wonderful person. (And, it’s G-r-a-y because it’s short for “Graham.”) Even his teachers keep telling me what a “great person” and a “wonderful human being” he is. But, yes, he is willful in the extreme. I don’t think he sees himself as smarter than me except in his tech realm – he is rather a phenom; his tech-skills reputation is how he got into the Health Science Academy for high school.
Still, I do see him being sometimes disrespectful in his willfulness, especially with others. I think he’s also often careful with me because my health worries him.
Actually, the biggest problem he’s been facing is that his IEP hasn’t grown with him as he’s been evolving into his maturity. It’s still essentially the same program as he began with in the second grade. IEP is an Individualized Educational Program; in his case, it was structured to address his ADHD. Unfortunately, the program still treats him the same way it did when he was seven – he’s 14 now. The IEP team was hyper focused on his every move and jumped on him to quash him at every turn, even seizing his tech and impairing his functionality in school. They don’t have textbooks and half the time there’s not even paper assignments. It’s almost exclusively tech now. But, the IEP team seems to act as if the tech is some invasive assault that they must put down. Admittedly, he remains impulsive and distractible, but is developing what seems to me to be an appropriate system for him to self-discipline, rather than the system his IEP has always sought to impose upon him – even punishing him for trying to organize his own way. On top of his IEP infantilizing him, I’m afraid there’s at least an unconscious bias against his Middle Eastern heritage. Certainly, he’s dealing with bullying over it from other students.
At any rate, I’ve pulled him from the IEP because it had become detrimental to his emotional wellbeing and his academic success. He felt like they were trying to crush him. And, I have to say, that from my perspective, it did seem like they were trying to break him, to make him conform to an infantilized, march to their drum ideal. I tried to work with them and not make waves – he begged me most of the time not to intervene, though he’s been miserable in the program for over a year. He’s the same way about the bullying. He believed my intervention can only make things worse – classic bullied-kid response. I just couldn’t stand back any longer. I’m glad I pulled him. He seems to have had a weight lifted off him.