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RE: Stories of Calik – Shawsworth Part Three

in #fiction5 years ago

Smashing stuff. Picking up a pace as they say!!

He had let the Vargs take his whisky with nothing more than a shrug but now had transformed into this homicidal maniac intent on destroying him.

Only because I like it am I asking, I struggled with this paragraph making sense a tiny bit?

I know what is like when people pick at your work though so feel free to tell me to fuck off :0D

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Thanks for the feedback, I get little so love it when someone does actually read this stuff.

It was meant in the context of the barman, but I have changed it so it seems more obvious.

He had let the Vargs take the taverns' whisky with nothing more than a shrug

The barman appeared to be the owner of the tavern, but was simply a plant. He would not have cared if the Vargs nicked the whisky as he was a member of the outlaw band.

Does that make sense? I know it looks and reads different from other's perspectives.

I getcha now!!! Ah yes, it was just the way it was worded that threw me off. Tis good, I am enjoying it. :0)

God knows whats gonna happen next. I haven't written 80,000 words in advance!

I think it's the best way. This is the first draft!!

Yes I could look at it that way. Combine them into a bestseller at a later date adding a lot more polish.

The dream is real!!

hehe - a surprise for all of us!

I struggled a little bit there, too, I think there might be a missing word in the sentence. Likewise, @slobberchops, feel free to tell me to mind my own business 😎

feel free to tell me to mind my own business

Never! Love the feedback, I can't improve if nobody says a word!

Hehe, it's much clearer now! Splendid feedback for the chopmaster and acted on quickly!!

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