A Toast to Starry Nights | FIFTEEN
Red light poured from above to highlight the pillar I stood upon. A gigantic monolith in the middle of a blackened chasm. Banshee wails of terror filled my ears. Thuds and thumps came from all directions to make my hair stand on end.
The pillar of terror from my childhood dream. Not cool.
“Where are you?” Neilsinhaur's voice was soft, soothing.
A deep breath. “In a cavern, no light, but a red one shining down on me. I'm on a pillar. Can't see the floor beyond the pillar. Don't know where the light is coming from.”
“Where are you physically?”
“In your office, sitting in a chair.” Duh, you silly man. But where my mind is... well, not so sure of that.
“That's right. Remember, you are safe.”
That's good to know. “How do I leave?” Because having an exit route is a must in life.
“You want to leave already?” The good doctor's voice conveyed a hint of surprise.
“No, but should I feel the need, how do I escape?” This mindfuck barely began and I found the anxiety starting to ride. Another deep breath.
“When you need a door, it will be there for you.” Awesome.
“Where do I go from here?” Not that many options when it comes to being stuck atop a granite column and all.
“Walk forward. Instinct will guide you.”
Super. Instinct is telling me I'm going to be creeped out. That perhaps, somethings are not meant to be remembered. So what if I can immerse myself fully, that isn't a guarantee that my mind is truly receptive to remembering things perhaps crafted by a very fertile imagination. Sigh.
“You want me to walk forward. Off a pillar?” That does imply that air is involved as a surface in which can support weight. Am I that much of a chicken shit?
“Yes.”
Deep, frustrated sigh. Okay, here goes...I stepped out of the red light and into the darkness. Ground met my foot. Another step. Again. All was good. Three more hesitant steps. Somewhere lurked an edge into an abyss. I knew it with a gut feeling. Whatever lay at the bottom of that darkness would not be happy-hunky-dunky-dory. Mental burial by Sucrets box, perhaps. Or a school of invisible piranhas waiting to sink tiny pointy teeth into my flesh and flay me alive. Maybe even a pit of dancing satyrs, eagerly awaiting Lucifer's bacchanal, panpipe and bowling ball in hand.
Two more hesitant steps, each started with a toe tapping before me, assuring me that solid ground indeed happen to be there.
Then the step I dreaded. Toe tried tapping a beat into a void and my heart stopped. I didn't want to step closer, but something drew me forward. Invisible strings of the mind, so to speak. A puppet pulled off the shelf and floating into the vacant abyss.
Mental quicksand enveloped me, like a velvet cloak of relaxation. In that state, I sunk further and further into the dark I feared since childhood. Just when I started to get comfortable, a jolt rattled my bones and I sank more.
Faster and deeper, I can't tell how far I descended into darkness. Falling, falling forever into a vast feather bed, sinking into a soft pillow of the dark unknown.
Don't know how long I went down into that soft void when I saw the light. A tiny dot in the satin black. Slowly it grew as I neared. Could make out a shadowy darkness in the halo of light. Closer I came, the more I saw another wood door, bound in wrought iron. It too, floated in the abyss with me.
This is what I sought. What lurked behind the door, I didn't know. Not sure if I really wanted to know. The secret to the moans, thuds, and wailing belonging to the mental staircase came from here, from this door. Light seeped from around the doorway, a welcome sight from the darkness that surrounds.
A wooden latch lifted and that door swung open on rusted hinges, eerily sounding like a deep wail. I held onto the doorjamb and tried to peer through the golden light.
For a moment, nothing. Then came the sound of a wind gust, followed by the actual tsunami of air. As it bathed me, beat into me and covered every nerve of my being, a sensation of familiarity sank into my mind.
It was like a lucid dream. Of being in control of my dream-self, able to fly if I wanted. It's a dream so real feeling, that the emotion it creates will permeate through the waking day. I knew it already. When I pulled myself into that open door of the mind, it felt like all of those dream sensations. Light and free and that what I experienced was as real as when I drove to Chico for my appointment.
This was actually happening.
The more I passed over the threshold, the more memories and feelings emerged inside and more of the scene manifested before my new-found sight.
I know this person.
Her name is Ona.