Those Who Leave

The eyes glazed at me. I've destroyed one more hope from those who love me. He does not cry. The gaze was more like a disappointed and tired look. Maybe there's a bit of regret because he's done too much to me. And all of his gifts are I replied with the pain that repeatedly.
He nodded and then twisted his body and started walking away from me. I look at his back until it disappears from view. Maybe this is not our last meeting, but I know it's the last time he wants to see me.

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"I thought you were going to marry her Zi," said Ana, my best friend, in surprise. I told her that I had just ended my unlabeled relationship with Rendi.
"I think so," I said quietly. I sat on her messy bed, picked up one of the pillows and pinned her. "I found a mistake," I say that makes Ana wake up from her bed and look at me curiously.
"This time what else?" He asked impatiently. This is not the first time I broke a man's heart before they did it to me. At least, that's my precaution.
"He wants to move and live in Makassar," I say in a dangling tone.
"What is wrong? You can come along. "
"I can see our future, An. He'll leave me. "
"Zika, that's just fantasy. All future visions are in your imagination. "
"I know. But it will make me not calm life with him later. I have no one in Makassar. He also just wants to build a business there. There will be many things I can reason to blame him for marrying me. "
"But there's no reason for him to leave you."
"Which man would want to live with a woman who can not be happy with anything he's done."
"Do not be a woman like that then. You will know after you live it, Zi. Everything you think about right now is not a sure thing. If you keep this up, you will not get ahead. "
"I only have problems with men, An. With another aspect of life I'm fine, "my elbows felt cornered.
"You are right. This time why do not you fight your fears and illusions about your future? Why do not you just take this risk and see how it works? If it's bad, at least you get a new lesson. "
"If the results are bad, I will never fall in love again."
"But you just know how it works only if you pass the test."

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"Ren, I'm sorry," I said with regret. Rendi still sat in silence and looked down, reluctant to look at me. "You know I have a very bad past. You should be able to understand, "I said again. Rendi looked up, opened her mouth and answered my words.
"I promised not to leave you, did you?" He asked and I nodded. "Because that's what I'll never do unless you want to." Rendi looked at me deeply. The eyes were radiating hope and conviction.

"I'm not sure I can be a good wife."
"I'm not sure I can be a good husband either. But I want to try. You too? "I nodded and smiled.
Rendi reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small velvet-covered box. The box opened, and there was a ring there. Rendi pulled the ring and pinned it on my finger.
"I've tied you up. You can not run anymore, "Rendi said and came forward to kiss my forehead.

"How are you, Zi? How's the little one? "
"I'm healthy, An. The little one is also able to walk two or three steps, "I replied.
I miss Ana. Very. It's been two years since my marriage to Rendi and we moved to Makassar, I never saw Ana again. Usually there is always him who advise me, a place to lean every time I have a problem. Although not face-to-face, I always try to keep our communication.
"Are you happy, Zi?" This question is always asked by Ana every time she calls. Although he can not see it, but I smile.
"I'm happy, An. I never felt this happy. Our life is not perfect. Rendi's business is having trouble while I can not work because no one is nurturing Naufa. But we're fine. I'm sure Rendi will solve the problem and we'll be happier. "
"I'm glad to hear it," Ana said sincerely. I'm sure he's smiling there too. "Oh yes, Zi. Later that night I leave for the Netherlands. Maybe I'll rarely be able to contact you directly. But we can communicate through wa or line. "
"Is it time?" I sighed. It seems only yesterday we told you about the departure of Ana to continue her studies is still one more month. It turns out that time is rolling so fast. "Always take care of yourself, An. I know you're not interested in Caucasians, but be careful. "I heard Ana laughing across the room.
"But smart people, no matter the local or the outside, are always tantalizing," said Ana, who snorted.
"Happy hunting professor then." We ended the call a few seconds after that because Naufa started fussing.

When I had managed to calm Naufa and sleep, a loud knock was heard from the front door of the house. I ran immediately before the tap woke Naufa.
"Yeah, what's wrong?" I asked the two men in a suit that stood stiffly at me.
"We are looking for Mr. Rendi," said one of them.
"Rendi is not at home. She's in the office. "
"We've been to the office! The office has been shut for a long time! "The bigger man yelled at me, instantly making me step back.
"Sir, Rendi always go to work every day. It's impossible for the office to close, "I said calmly. "Or you can come soon. Normally Rendi comes home after five o'clock. "
"We'll wait here!" They insist and choose to sit on the veranda.
"All right," I say, closing the door and locking it. I did not let them in because there was only me and Naufa at home. They are foreigners and I do not know they are dangerous or not.

I ran to get my cell phone and called Rendi. Two missed calls. After that I sent him a message, saying that there were two men looking for him at home. When I tried to contact him again, the Rendi number was not active.

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The knock at the front door had turned into a very deafening blow. Naufa cried out in terror. I clasped Naufa's body tightly, trying to calm her even though I was also scared to death.
No wonder they are angry. The day was past five o'clock but Rendi was not yet visible even could not be reached at all. Who are they really? Did I just open the door and scream for the neighbors if they do anything?
"Please do not make a fuss," I said in a quavering voice. Their gaze softened when they saw Naufa in my arms.
"We are sorry. We just wanted to meet Mr. Rendi. We should not be here if Mr. Rendi can be found in the office. "Now their way of speaking is more polite.
"If I can know, what's wrong with my husband?" They seemed hesitant to answer my question. A few seconds looked at each other and communicated with sign language, they finally told.
"Mr. Rendi has a huge debt in our boss. We are only assigned to hold responsible from Mr. Rendi. It's been five months past the agreed deadline. It seems that Mr. Rendi has missteps entrusting the investment to an irresponsible person. But our boss does not want to know that. Mr. Rendi must pay the debt, at least half of it. "

Early on in our move and the pioneering times of the coal business, I occasionally helped Rendi make presentations or accountability reports. But since Naufa is present in our lives, I have no idea about Rendi's business at all. The hassles and joys of raising Naufa have distracted my world. I never even asked Rendi what her company was like right now. Perhaps because of this Rendi lately is very emotional. And maybe because of that every time Naufa cries, Rendi will come out of the house and just come back after sipping out a pack of skirts."How much of my husband's debt?" I asked, though I regretted the question out of my mouth.

"ZIKA!" A hard pat on my shoulder made me gasp. I turned to Ana with my shy face. "You why?" Ana asked worriedly at my expression. "You love to daydream."
"I will not marry Rendi, An," I said in a quavering voice.
"Why? What's wrong? "Ana looked at me puzzled. His eyes blinked with curiosity.
"Because Rendi will not just leave me. But also my son. "