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RE: We Are Called Legion, for We Are Many
their scent mingled with the scent of mangled flesh
Your poetic mind comes through strongly in your prose, which I always enjoy.
but he welcomed the pain, and when they finally stopped, he cursed
This line alone gives a full understanding of the emotional plight of your MC.
While I agree it could use some structural integrity for clarity's sake, the writing is visceral and reflective of the horror of war and its aftermath. The juxtaposition of a child playing an innocent game increases the discomfort delivered as opposed to a story only of war.
This is one of my earliest pieces in English, so it's interesting that it came through. Though that originally read "intermingled," as I did do a small editing pass. It was interesting to see how my English did in fact improve in the years since I first wrote that story :)
And yeah, the juxtaposition combine with the title to say, "This is us, this is humanity." And it's not about anyone being a monster, just being in pain, just being human.