love is blind ...and looks not with the eyes, but with the mind
― Rumi
I’m lookin’ at Max and figurin’ he’s a dead ringer for Jimmy Durante –you know, Hotch-cha-cha-cha-cha? But I gotta say, he’s one guy I can see a dame telling, “Get lost, you Palooka.”
Anyway, jes like good ole’ Jimmy, Max has got a huge proboscis, but it’s not as big as his heart.
I’ve never heard Max utter a bad word about nobody. He’s the kinda guy kids and dogs love, and women smile at—but not in a good way.
So, when he tells me he loves Lorena, I get a little sick feeling in my stomach.
Lorena waits tables at the Stardust Diner. It was built in the forties back when people would sit in the booths and read Joe Palooka and maybe even see the movie and think a guy like Max was cute and cuddly—but not any more.
Those days are gone and Max—well, he’s got a few miles on him although, he still works out at Gold’s Gym and looks okay in a suit.
I use Max for muscle. Let’s just say, I’m a loan arranger and I help the local stiffs make it from paycheck to paycheck and take a little on the side.
Ya, I take a few off-track bets and play the numbers—but, people still prefer us to the Lotto—odds are better and we don’t pretend we’re doin’ it for charity.
The way I see it—you have the elected government, which in my opinion is the legal mafia, and then, you have us. We’re kind of the unofficial social program for the neighborhood—and hell, people seem to like us better.
I remember seein’ an old news clip from the Depression Era of Al Capone at a Cubs’ game and the people stood and cheered him like he was a celebrity or something.
Well, he damn well was! —He was giving out free soup to starving people while the government was worried about prohibiting booze.
Don’t get me started.
Anyways, back to Max—you know and I know, he ain’t got a prayer. Last I heard, women aren’t into charity—not when it comes to men.
Hey, I even struck out with Lorena—and I offered to take her to Coro’s—pretty classy at $300.00 a plate. But no way.
Max and Lorena—Hah! All I can say is he's dreamin' in Technicolor.
“You’re such a cynic, Johnnie.”
See? That’s Lois for you. Still stuck in a retro job selling cigarettes at Coro’s and she’s telling me I’m a cynic? Gimme a break.
“Look, Babe—I’m being realistic. I love Max—I even look the other way when he pays the interest so’s a guy like Hermie don’t get the beats—which, by the way, he deserves—being two months late on his payday loan.”
Hermie is Lois’s deadbeat brother—how he lived so long, is a mystery to me.
The guy’s a real welcher. Lately, he’s been hangin with bikers. He tries to put them on the long finger and they’re gonna be fishing his sorry carcass out of the lake.
Lois has been workin’ around celebrities too long—she’s got stars in her eyes.
“Don’t go pickin’ on Hermie,” she says, “he’ll be okay. He got a job fixing motorcycles. I think he’s finally turning a corner.”
I smile inside. Ya, he’s turning a corner alright, but it’s not the kinda street Lois is gonna like.
Just then, Max comes in, shaking the raindrops off his fedora.
His eyes are twinkling and his voice rasps. “Like I always says, always wear a raincoat, when it comes down wet.”
Hotch-cha-cha-cha-cha.
He doesn’t say it, but I hear it in my head. I just love this guy.
Lois feels the same—I hear it in her voice. “Heey, Maxie! —How ya doin’?”
“I’m doin’ good, Lois—jes goin aroun’ alla time, doin’ good.”
“I know you are, Max—you’re a real saint.”
“Well, save your pennies and don’t light no candles. I’m not as good as you think I am.”
Lois doesn’t buy it and neither do I. I’d stop a bullet for the guy—and he knows it. One thing about Max—he knows respect… and loyalty too.
Guys like him, I can’t replace.
Lois is just beamin’ the way she does for Father Callaghan.
“So what are ya doin’ for Valentines, Max?”
Max smiles and crushes her in a big, bear hug. “I never thought you’d ask, Lois.”
He gives me a big wink to show he’s foolin’—as if, I’d think otherwise.
“Hey don’t go crushin’ on me—you’ll make Johnnie mad.”
“As if,” I snort—tryin’ to sound like Vinnie Barbarino, but I gotta cold from all this unseasonable rain, and I have to grab a napkin and blow my schnozzzola.
“Aww, ain’t he adorable,” Lois mocks—she can be pretty sarcastic, when she wants to be.
“Johnnie’s a dream,” Max smiles. “You guys look like movie stars—like Bogey and Bacall.”
“Gee, ya think so, Max?” Lois sighs.
“Sure. You guys are golden.”
I figure it’s time to change the subject. “So, Max, what are ya doin’ for Valentines?”
“Ah, hearts and flowers are for kids. C’mon—ya looked in the mirror lately—who’d want me?”
Lois gets all protective. “Yer crazy, Max—lotsa girls.”
“Ya well, name one.”
“Wadda ‘bout Lorena?”
“Her and a palooka like me? Ya gotta be kiddin’.”
I second that emotion. I mean I like Max and all that, but I don’t want the poor guy’s heart broken—but Lois, she just won't let go.
“Ya know what, Max. I figure we only got so long on this earth. You’re a good guy and Lorena’s good people too—I see her at Mass alla time. I know Father Callaghan likes her—so, she must be nice.”
I'm stewing inside listening to this crap. What’s with this father Callaghan stuff alla time? Sometimes, I think Lois shudda entered a nunnery.
“I’ll take it under advisement,” Max winks, puttin’ on the Ritz a little.
“Ya, well just don’t let her slip away, Max—she’s a real keeper—if you get my meanin’.”
I’m shaking my head—on the inside, of course—and playin’ it poker-faced on the outside, ‘cause no way I want Max to get his hopes up and be crushed like a bug.
“I gotta go,” Max says, “and collect some paper for Johnnie.”
“Ya, you do that Big Guy—earn your keep!”
He waves and heads out into the rain and I’m doin’ a slow burn—pissed at Lois for encouraging the guy.
The way I figure it, love’s a transaction—ya gotta have somethin’ to get somethin’—and, in my humble opinion, and I reserve the right to be wrong, but Max ain’t bringin’ much to the table. Ya know wad I mean?
It’s Valentine’s night and I’m takin’ Lois to a romantic new Japanese steak house—ya know, one of dem joints where the chef chops the meat right at yer table?
Asians surround us—we’re the only white couple in the place. Then, the headwaiter, or waddever he’s called, comes over bowing and smiling.
“You feel ronery here? We bling you countrymen, no?”
I smile—I have no idea what he’s sayin’.
Suddenly, Max and Lorena are ushered to our table. Lois is just beamin’ and my jaw drops to the floor. Lorena looks sensational—she’s wearing some kinda long, blue print dress that’s a sari or somethin’. She looks like a million bucks.
I wanna tell ya, we had the best Valentine’s dinner I think I ever had.
Later, back at the diner, we have coffee and pie. Lorena sends us all home because she has to help Willie, the owner, tally the monthly receipts and share the tips with the kitchen staff.
We walk Max through the rain and say goodbye to him at Main and Elm. The rain’s slantin’ down though the yellow cones of streetlights.
“It’s time to say goodnight,” he rasps and walks on to the next circle of light and tips his hat.
We stand transfixed—it’s all so familiar. At the next circle of light, just before he turns the corner, he stops again and blows a kiss.
Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are, Lois whispers in my ear.
https://goo.gl/images/cYYtmo, https://goo.gl/images/WSrFcp, https://goo.gl/images/XXP4Yi
Hahahahaha...!
I love this story, and what a great ending! ;) 😄😇😄
thanks creatr :)
Very nice
thank you, @tohammy7 I always appreciate feedback :)
:)
Great Story, I have been missing out of late, moving my Studio equipment from one place to another( and assembling the Wooden apartments to put it in!)
you sound like my son - loves recording and writing music