RE: Systemic Failure. Please, try again. (Original Story)
As a huge believer in the Simulation hypothesis (also of the Holographic universe) and a firm supporter of the Singularity, I'm always interested to read about stories that put it at the center. With that being said, I have some thoughts regarding the story. I know that you're appreciative of these things, so I won't hold back.
The story started off with a nice pace. A brief overview that led to a tense confrontation that evoked a kind of conspiracy-driven espionage tale. I especially liked the part when John reminisced about his pre-atheist days. It was a nice sidetrack.
The bottom half of the story though, kind of became a commentary without any warning or transition. Perhaps if the story ended with:
That night changed everything for him and for the rest of the world. It was the final confirmation they were looking for before having their hand forced to go public about the simulated nature of the universe we call reality. Great minds like Elon Musk had been right all along. As our own simulations became innumerable and indistinguishable from what we once called "physical reality," it just became a simple matter of logic and probabilities to deduce we couldn't possibly be in the one true reality.
Then the latter part was given as a complementary explanation to what had happened, it would flow better. There wasn't a mention of John again until almost the end. If the whole explanation was interwoven to actions, then it might have a better synergy.
It's great that you're flexing your range, Luke! The reader could really feel your passion and knowledge regarding the topic. That's always great! Keep this story going, and just like simulations, I'm sure that the story will constantly improves until it normalizes to something that could be considered as the best version of your tale :D
Thanks so much, @jedau! Since you've actually published your fiction, I greatly appreciate your opinion. Great feedback. Looking at it now, I realized it was kind of a mashup between a book jacket cover explanation, a prologue, a first chapter, and a prototype pilot to sell the whole story. Clearly trying to do too much at once.
It's an interesting process to put yourself out there and try something new. I generally like to be pretty good at the things I do because it strokes my ego and keeps my insecurities at bay. Doing something like this with a high probability of failure or wasted time is good for me. Now to see if I stick with it or not. I'm certainly going to try, but I'm not going to put a timeline on it in order to keep it fun and feeling less like an obligation. :)
I'm sure that once you ease up a bit on the explanation and just let the reader figure things out as the story goes, it'll relieve some pressure and keep things fun on your end. I guess one of the lessons I learned from you is to just have fun with posting and not let it feel like an obligation, so I guess this is a soft reminder :)
On another note, since we're talking about super intelligences and simulations, I'm positive that you will enjoy HBO's new series Westworld. Yes, it's based on the 1973 film of the same name. Kind of like a spiritual sequel, in some sense. It deals with many of your favorite topics like morality, free will and ethics. Never mind the nudity, because they certainly don't. It's only a few episodes in, and it premiered a couple of months ago.
Yeah, I've been enjoying Westworld as well. I'm sure it has influenced this story significantly. I caught episode 6 last night. Such an interesting story. The nudity has taken some getting used to.
And yes, thank you for the reminder. I wouldn't post if I didn't enjoy it. :)
Going by the writers' past work, I think the nudity is there to make a point about how the hosts are treated as objects. Or, at least I hope it is. Otherwise, it's just there to appeal to a larger audience who prefer that stuff.
It might just be that HBO needed something more shocking than Game of Thrones regarding over-the-top nudity. :)