This was such a wonderful surprise. Wow! My mouth is agape upon reading this tale. This has got to be my favorite story of yours to date (and there have been a lot!) So many things going on and yet it didn't feel overstuffed. You said it best, I felt my heart skip, then stop all together. You kept the suspense from start to finish, and no reader would be able to take their eyes of this story once they start reading. I am so impressed with how you scripted this. I mean, I already know that you have tremendous skill in terms of writing descriptions, but this is just a tour de force!
Your decision to frame this story in media res really paid off in spades. Is this the story that you plan on posting alongside Today Again? Because if it is, this is certainly one to look out for! Hall of fame job, my friend! :D
EDIT: Woohoo! My #curie vote kicked in! :D
That's really good to hear, haha! This book is my 'baby', I'm so close to it having read it and revised and edited so many times that I can't be objective at all. Yes, it's the one I was talking about. I'm still undecided about posting it, partly because I have two versions of the first book, I have a novella I wrote as a prequel which will only work with one version (both versions contain this scene which I used as a prologue for the first version then when I wrote the novella and shortened the actual book I put the scene where it actually occurs later on) The novella comes across as more young adult because it takes place a year earlier and a handful of my main cast, especially the girls, are either just graduating or still in the last year of high school. I have to think on it a bit more :) But your reaction was definitely what I was hoping for (I took a break from steemit and I was really hoping you would have seen it when I got back on!) Now I'm going to see if you posted yet :)
POST. BOTH. VERSIONS.
That novella-as-a-prequel idea sounds like a great one! But, since you've already posted this, I think you can just excuse it as an alternate version. You can then post a poll to see which version worked best, then the readers can decide which they liked better. This scene was so masterfully written, and knowing that this is your "baby" really makes it stand out. I can feel the passion lifting from the page. Nothing like a labor of love, my friend :D