Wow! This is such a fantastic opening. I especially liked the tone of their encounter, very intimate and engaging. Their chemistry is palpable right from the onset, and their interaction was electrifying. My favorite part about this is their dialogue, which was very snappy. If you hadn't mentioned their age outright, I would've thought that they were old souls trapped in the bodies of children.

It's funny because the story I had written for NaNo is from the perspective of a child as well! So, there's some similarity there. It would be an honor to publish it side by side with your series. It's interesting to see how they would diverge. I'm very much looking forward to reading the next parts! :D You have certainly gained a reader in me. I might not be able to leave my thoughts on all, but I will on the latest installment, like what I initially intended.