A Day in the Clouds (Chapter 7) - The Hours Between 1100 and 1200 (Part 1 of 2)

in #fiction8 years ago (edited)

This is a continuation of the Steemit-exclusive, original novel A Day in the Clouds. Be sure to check out the previous chapters to catch up with the story. Enjoy!


<< Chapter 6 (Part 2)

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My journey home was far from the easiest of ventures. The outside world was inhospitable; the winds were harsh and the heat was unrelenting.

For a time, it seemed that the path I found myself in was deserted — well, that was until the source of the grumbling noise from earlier zoomed past. It was a hulking metallic creature that stood on three spinning disks located unevenly on its base. I wasn’t quite sure how it moved but it seemed to glide through the air, albeit closely to the ground. Its weight must have been the reason for its lackluster altitude. However, it was smaller than Coche — a creature which either the giants kept as a pet or as another prisoner.

The giants boarded Coche whenever they would travel outside of the compound. I’ve ridden the beast quite a number of times whenever my captors took me to outside re-education facilities or foreign meal establishments. I’ve always been fond of Coche. Although, whenever I tried speaking to it, it always never answers. I'm not quite sure if it was commanded to not speak with other prisoners, or it just didn't understand how I talked. I knew that it could speak though. It always sang using different voices — sometimes, it even talked to itself while interchanging voices. Not that there was anything wrong with that; it just seemed peculiar. Its breath was frigid and its roar was loud. Unlike the metallic creature that zoomed past, Coche stood evenly on 4 black disks, which I’m not quite sure spinned. Dadier had a particular fondness for the creature, routinely giving it the same water torture treatment he subjected me to.

Eventually, I discovered that the concrete jungle that I found myself in teemed with wayward giants who didn’t even seem to take notice of my presence. I coughed whenever the wind kicks up dust that was ever present in the outside.

Several other metallic creatures passed, each containing a fair amount of giants. Some of the creatures even resembled Coche. I made sure to keep my viento recharged just in case a hostile presented itself.

I jumped over the cracks and crevices that seemingly lined the beaten path. It was easy to get lost as everything almost looked the same. The path looked familiar, as if I’ve been taken down this road before during one of our excursions, although I’m not quite sure. I’ve never been one to have confidence in my navigational skills, so I sought out a trail and decided on — what looked like — a narrow, white line that streaked at intervals. It seemed like a relatively fruitful decision; the metallic creatures evaded it like it was the plague. The only drawback to following the trail was that I was at the mercy of the unforgiving sun, floating high above my head. There were no shade, not even clouds to dampen the jarring sunlight. It was either this or be crushed under the heels of the hulking, metal beasts that roamed the area.

Walking past rusted fences, I gazed upon several prisoners held captive by unfamiliar giants. The whole row was filled with different prison compounds stacked side-by-side. All of them seemed to be managed separately by different sets of giants.

The reason for such compartmentalization eludes me. Why not just pile all of us prisoners in one concentration camp? Better security, better reinforcements. This oversight would prove to be one of the reasons for the impending downfall of our current tyrants.

However, not all of the compounds seemed to house prisoners. Some of the settlements looked as if they were only occupied by giants. Those must have been outposts or something.

My feet felt like it started to burn. It was a good thing Dadier equipped me with footwear that was made of a rubbery substance that morning, or else my bare feet would be defenseless against the coarse granite. The footwear was painted black and its lines were colored red. It was stamped with what looked like an upside-down "Y" and had laces that seemed to fade with its base.

The heat began to take its toll. I’ve sweated out almost all of the hydration from my body. The ground emanated steam that blurred visibility. I don’t know how long I have travelled or how far I must continue in my journey. It felt like weeks since I’ve made my escape from the prison compound and the amount of giants I passed seemed to grow, the more I walked.

I sat down under a shade for a moment, beside a sleeping hound. Its fur was brown and its tongue extended on the pavement. I could hear it panting as it labored its breath. Poor thing must be exhausted from the scalding heat. I stroked its back to calm it down.

Giants often took hounds as prisoners as well. Even more unfortunate for them, the fiends routinely tied a leash around their necks to keep them at bay. I’m not entirely unfamiliar with such restraints as I’ve been harnessed a couple of times myself, whenever we took a trip outside of the compound. The differences were that my harness wasn't rung around my neck and was only temporary while the hounds’ were mostly permanent.

Fortunately for this one, it managed to evade capture. It looked worse for wear, but at least it was free.

    "There, there," I whispered softly. I was sure it didn’t understand anything that came out from my mouth, but I was hopeful that my emotion would be conveyed through my gesture. Some people in my village have learned how to communicate with hounds but the start of the Great War prevented me from learning the craft. “Everything’s going to be alright.”

    "Hey, what are you doing with my dog?" a shrill voice from behind me queried.

Mydog? What a peculiar name for a hound. I turned around and discovered that the question came from a prisoner standing behind gigantic metal bars. The bars stood too close to each other, preventing any passage between them.

    "I-I … I was j-just," I stammered. “I was just comforting it. I thought it didn’t have any companionship. I apologize for any—”

    "Stay away from my dog!" she demanded tersely. The prisoner had long, black hair that stretched all the way to her back, and had eyebrows that met at the center. She wore a white sleeveless shirt and tattered pants, and stood just about as tall as I did.

    "How could a prisoner maintain ownership of something that's free?" I inquired, holding on to the metal bars. “How do you feed it? How do you take care of it?”

    "W-What is wrong with you?" she had a puzzled look on her face, as she slowly backed away.

    "N-No, don’t be afraid. I’m here to help you attain freedom, I just—"

    "Mamie!"

Mamie?! How could … This couldn’t be!

I ran away as fast as I could. In my haste, I almost got nicked by a passing three-legged, metallic beast, but my viento shielded me from danger — I felt the wind surge through me as it nearly made contact.

I couldn’t wrap my head why would a prisoner snitch on someone that was offering her a chance at freedom. Has her re-education been too advanced? Perhaps she was given leniency or even a reward? Whatever the reason was, I was just lucky to get out of there without getting caught.


Hours, days, weeks passed with seemingly no reprieve. I was caught in eternal daytime and I didn’t know if I was headed in the right direction. Wary about talking to other prisoners, I stayed within the bounds of the trail I was following. The metallic beasts that passed avoided me without fail.

Soon enough, I stumbled upon a group of wanderers who were enjoying some refreshments. As far as I counted they were three of them, all male, who looked like they were about as tall as I was. They sat on the edge of a slant on the path, each with their own drink in hand.

I was parched. There were no indications that they were prisoners. In fact, they looked to have the same immunity to the giants’ sight that I had. I didn’t want to risk my presence being alerted to the giants once again but my dehydration slowly took away any choice I had left.

    "H-Hello," I muttered softly, concentrating my viento on my fists just in case. “Could you fellows, perchance, spare me a swig of your libation? I’m terribly parched and I—”

    "What did you say?" one of the men rudely interrupted.

They looked at me with disbelief, grasping their drinks close to their chest. For no apparent reason, one of them took offense while another looked on with wonderment.

I licked my lips and bared my palms. "I come bearing no ill will, I just wanted to relieve my dehydration," I pleaded once again, but to no avail.

    "What is he saying?" one asked the other. They looked almost indistinguishable to me. Perhaps my desiccated state had dulled my senses.

    "Beats me," answered the other.

    "Why do you talk that way?" asked the third one, prodding me like I was some kind of savage.

    "Don’t," I requested politely. “Please don’t poke me. I just wanted to hydrate, for my journey has been—”

    "Yo! Do you understand … what … I … am … saying?" one of the men queried, waving his palm in front of my face.

I didn’t understood what was happening or why they were acting this way. I understood them perfectly; it was them who had trouble comprehending the way I talk.

    "Can … I … have … a … drink?" I spoke slowly so that they could understand, but they looked more puzzled than ever.

They scratched their heads and circled me like sharks stalking their would-be prey. Was I at the center of a prank that had gone on for far too long? Did they really not understand anything that I was saying? It was like the prison compound all over again.

I motioned to them, acting out what I wanted to say by pretending I was taking a drink. They reacted by taking a drink for themselves, which made me scratch my head. We weren’t getting anywhere. The sun was emanating stronger heat and I was nowhere near hydrated.

Tired of all the poking and prodding, I extended my right arm and snatched the closest drink I could grasp. I quickly took a sip, just before the circle collapsed on me. What was light poking turned into heavy shoving. The drink spilled but at least I had my fill.

I bared my palms and pushed back, discharging some viento I had pent up. My retribution was met by an increased resistance. I didn’t want to use force, as I’ve seen the full extent of my power. They wouldn’t stand a chance; what could turn out to be reliable allies could easily be turned into a smoking crater.

By shoving back, I have perpetuated a cycle of violence. I kept pushing harder every time they pushed harder. Like our earlier conversation, we found ourselves locked in an impasse once again. Diplomacy could have been the key, but they seem to be too dimwitted to recognize civility.

    "Truce!" I held up my hands trying to initiate an end to the violence, but they refused to yield. “Stop it please! This … This is unnecessary—”

They continued to taunt me, daring me to fight back. I decided to just smile and hope that it might be a universal symbol of armistice, but the gesture seemed to only escalate the hostility.

One of the men clenched his fist, cocked it back and threw it at me. My quick reflexes allowed me to dodge the attack but another struck me from behind with the beverage canister he was holding.

I was knocked to the ground, drenched in the sticky liquid. Gathering myself, I heard the black liquid fizz near my ringing ear. It was then when the men began to use their feet and kick me in different exposed parts of my body. I curled up into a ball and composed myself.

Should I fight back? Could I fight back? The odds weren’t particularly in my favor, but then again, I had an invisible advantage which they sorely lacked. I closed my eyes and tried to not think about the pain inflicted upon me, concentrating my viento on my fists.

From my curled position, I sprung up and gouged one of my attackers in the eye. I swung blindly, managing to hit another with the back of my hand. Though I was more of an open-palm striker, I clenched my fist and hit the third one squarely in the jaw.

They were in disarray. The three men had not anticipated retaliation, especially from a person who seemingly was at a disadvantage. They looked at each other trying to formulate a coordinated attack, nodded and scattered in different directions.

These were the times when warriors stepped up to the plate. Three against one should prove to be enough of a challenge to rouse my adrenaline. I felt my heart palpitate. A shot of electricity coursed through my entire body. In that moment, I felt my reflexes take over.

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Chapter 7 (Part 2) >> (Coming in 2 days)
<< Chapter 6 (Part 2)

Thanks for reading! Follow me @jedau for stories, solutions and other stuff that begin with 'S'!

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Great chapter so far. I've read the comments too and I'm not sure if everyone understands what Ledd is really seeing but I enjoy the puzzling interpretations from Ledd's perspective. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out that Coche was a car, and then the other metallic beasts were automobiles as well that was easy to connect, but the one thing I cannot identify is the three legged metallic beast. I was thinking maybe it is a three wheeled bicycle, but you described that in the very beginning of the chapter, and you said it had three spinning disks, not that is was three legged, so I feel that this thing is different.
"I ran away as fast as I could. In my haste, I almost got nicked by a passing three-legged, metallic beast"

Clarity would be definitely appreciated and I enjoyed learning some new words like "libation" and "impasse" I've seen impasse before but had to brush my memory up on the definition. I was quite surprised he just got into an all out battle with three other young boys. Really action packed towards the end.

I guess that's one of the reasons why I decided to put up SILVER LINING. The action-packed section was something I really want to surprise readers with. Kind of like a reminder that this is still a work of fiction haha I used "spinning disks" and "legs" interchangeably since "creature" and "machine" are a big point of confusion for him. Ledd doesn't really see things as inanimate, especially since they're moving. I wanted to touch on childhood ignorance there. Thanks for pointing out that there's a point of confusion there. It's something I would need to consider.

Also, I explain the three legged beasts in the SILVER LINING for that chapter.

He's a fearless kid, isn't he? For some reason I found myself thinking about your cousins or 'mamier and dadier' through this section. I feel like the way you wrote this part made me see through his eyes and through the eyes of others equally. And maybe because he's 'made his escape' now it' s not as if there's a destination to root for him to get to LOL. I instead am thinking about his parents and how worried they would be.
Great job, well done, fantastic as usual my friend!

Thanks for taking the time to read, my friend! I really wanted to set this up as sort of a roller coaster. As you mentioned before, I've set it up so that readers can clearly look through Ledd's eyes, without taking the feeling of the people around him into account. I think this blind perspective approach is interesting because you're forced to look inward and think about how you would feel if you were in their shoes.

This was one of my favorite chapters to write, and it's certainly one of the most pivotal. I'm currently writing the SILVER LINING entry to this, so expect a meaty entry this Friday (or Thursday your time, I think)

I will read anything you write, as I've said before you are extremely gifted, I love you style!
You're doing an amazing job, loving every bit of it :)

Thank you for saying that! :') It's always so nice to hear touching sentiments like that. Warms my heart. I hope you know that the continued motivation you give really means a lot, my friend :D

a great chapter truly feels like a mad max movie. It's maybe the second chapter I read but I see some amazing world building here. I've missed a lot, you deserve a lot more votes for such a story. I would say it misses some images and getting a good comic artist for this might make it into a real bomb, :) but focus on the story it's great :)

Thank you for the kind compliments! The encouragement really means a lot, and it's so nice of you to say those things :D I never thought about it being Mad Max-like, but that's actually a great analogy you brought up.

I do agree with you regarding the lack of images. In earlier chapters, I've inserted some images here and there. I've actually been talking to different comic artists, but for a different project. I'll try to insert images whenever I can. The problem I'm having is that sometimes a chapter is already too lengthy, so I don't want to add more to the length. Also, whenever I add an image, I always make it a point that it fits in with the story of the chapter. If Zepp doesn't have any pictures that meet the requirement, then I don't force it. I really don't prefer grabbing images off the internet for this project.

Thanks for taking the time to leave your thoughts. These feedback are very invaluable to me :D

No please don't the imagery should be consistent with the story even shaped from it. It's written great and the images show or come on their own. It would be great as a comic is all I'm saying. It would be stunning even if the art is up to par.

It's a custom and personal as a story so the art should reflect that. You wouldn't find such, or at least I think so. Sure landscapes might fit, but that would be the best. I think it needs the attention you've spent creating it, if there is going to be any art. It's great as it is. If you add another layer it could become a best-seller, there isn't much creativity in mainstream so it would sell I'm sure. Fans would love the new take and the creativity. There is enough batman/iron man/superman already :) (not in that order :D superman is the best for superman lovers :D )

This is such a great feedback! If only my upvote for this was worth a hundred dollars :) I get what you mean, and I will take that into consideration especially for my next stories. Right now, for consistency, I guess I'll be sticking to the style of images in the previous chapters.

My thinking was that the images should just complement the story, and the latter should always take precedence. It's a very good point you raised regarding adding a new layer. I highly appreciate that! This kind of feedback is so invaluable and worth more than any upvote :D (well, except if your upvote is actually $100, then I'd be on the fence about it haha!)

BTW, I hate Superman (sorry if you're a big fan of him haha) because he's just too overpowered.

hahaha I'm not a fan of super heroes, I just like seeing the connections people have made with them, I mean put into them :D Tony Stark , batman and superman were the first superheroes, anyways they are worthless if you don't put into practice what is taught, so if you don't train and stand in harm's way to protect what you love you are no superhero :D

About your vote, I do wish you the first trillion of steem :D there seem to be millionaires, and that is exceptional yes, but some of them are powering down and selling out :D we don't need such it's hard taking responsibility and taking action to improve the platform, but if you have invested into it at least try that. It shouldn't be about cash, it should be a side income with the prospect of being one of the first to help achieve a new paradigm where people work together and help each other out :)

Sorry for the philosophies, you can always donate 100s of steems :D and vote/promote content :D that's the best we got worth a double vote right now :D plus don't worry the fact that you are taking note is more important and building worthwhile connections is far better than a 100 bucks, not enough elk to go around if everybody was getting that much :D (buck were deer skin) not snakey ssss :D like now :D

it should be a side income with the prospect of being one of the first to help achieve a new paradigm where people work together and help each other out :)

Excellently put. No need to apologies dropping philosophies, because I personally love discussing philosophical concepts myself. I do agree that at this point it's not even about the money anymore. That's why I value feedback and interaction way more than any upvote. It's more sustainable, and it promotes growth rather that quick returns :)

That was a good point to end on, quite the riveting adventure! I am enjoying the double meaning journey!

Thank you for the recognition, dude! It means so much coming from someone I highly admire :D I have to admit, it was really hard to find that moment I split the chapter on. Countless hours of internal monologue debated where to cut it. The running favorite was when I put the separator in, but both parts would feel uneven. It's nice to hear some validation that I made the right decision in the end :)

I hope Part 2 doesn't disappoint! This has got to be one of my favorite chapters to write, so I'm really anxious about how it's received :D

Oh the tension!! Will it be as good. I have my fingers crossed for you but I am sure you will pull it off!!

It'll be up in less than a day, so the suspense and agony won't be prolonged haha! However, I could assure you that the accompanying SILVER LINING would be meaty. My favorite one that I've written so far as well. Must be the number 7 LOL

So i'm guessing this journey of "weeks" and "perpetual daylight" is all in a day yeah? 😃

It's amazing the way you represent all these. I'm hoping he didn't get too hurt from the beating he took.

Actually, more like an hour ;) I really tried to illustrate how children tend to over-exaggerate simple situations. Like for example, if they don't go to some place or buy some thing, it feels like the end of the world for them :D Thank you for taking the time to leave your thoughts and for you continued support, my friend :D

As for the beating, be on the lookout for the SILVER LINING of this chapter for an in-depth explanation. I promise that it's going to be very meaty.

This is an interesting exploration of the depths of a child's imagination. And the way in which he views the world around him through his own personal filters and interpretations, translated here for us as this adventure.

I'm reading this knowing full well the situation, and the nature of the protagonist, yet following along eagerly as he encounters new experiences and deals with these obstacles through his understanding of the world.

There are two worlds operating here in this world, and both are believable, and overlap each other well.

Thanks for saying that, mate! Such very encouraging sentiments :D That was my main goal when I wrote this, so I'm super happy that it's fulfilling its intended purpose. This was the first time I ever attempted writing in the first-person, so I had tons of reservations, but I knew it was the only way to tell this story. I've studied his actions meticulously, and I was very careful in the details that I included. It has been a very trying journey for me as well. Your recognition of my work is truly appreciated :D

Great read. I like the way your building tension. Steem on!

Thanks for the recognition! I'm actually trying to be careful how I write it, and improve based on the lukewarm feedback I've gotten before. It's nice to know that progress is being made. Again, thanks for your continued support! I really appreciate it :D

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