Might I add a few?

1. Expect absolute perfection. You can't possibly write anything if you want it to be the world's greatest written work straight out of the box. If you can't have instant success, don't even try.

2. Get obsessed with editing. It's got to be perfect, right? So that accidental couple of sentences you wrote just has to be rewritten into oblivion.

3. Over-procrastinate. A little bit of dithering is key to the creative process, so a LOT of dithering has to make you SUPER creative, right? Of course! So go on and try to beat that level of Half-life. Fame is certain to be yours.

This was immense fun :D Excellent stuff.