Challenge #02623-G066: Occupational Hazards

in #fiction4 years ago


A: Human, why are you eating with your off hand?
B: Oh, I sprained my dominant hand. It should be better in a few days, maybe a week.
B: Cleaning the walls.
A: What.
B: Well, the kids left hand prints on the walls.
A: Just use the auto-cleaner.
B: Auto-cleaner's not rated for bio-hazardous materials.
B: Their own feces. It was disgusting. They did it while I was asleep, and it liquefied while I cleaned it. Not only was the smell atrocious, I learned in the nastiest way possible that at least one of them's been eating dog hair.
A: I think I need calming medicine.
B: You do that. I'm gonna get some more ice for my hand. -- Anon Guest

There were multiple reasons for forensics-level Cleaners, primarily of those was the pathogens present in crime scenes themselves. Second, interestingly, was the hazards of parenting. Small children, especially small Deathworlder children, have a pronounced predilection towards mess that is also bio-hazardous. Small children across known civilisation will spread about anything they can as a form of play combined with a form of expression. Learning the difference between the approved and disapproved spreadable substances.

Bodily waste, no matter which species scattered it about, is definitely disapproved. Even Havenworlder waste can be hazardous to other Havenworlders. Though the advent of Cleaners as an item of sanitary biotech helped significantly, some levels of bodily toxins require greater actions to cleanse. Some required authorisation to use and, when a house has biohazard smeared across a surface, urgency is a factor.

Through those logical steps, the parental variants of occupational injuries were both logical and shocking through their variation. It goes beyond the standards of stepping on or tripping over toys or catching diseases or infestations from their young. In many cases, it's astonishingly daft self-injuries. Like the brace on Human Zar's dominant arm.

"What happened to you?" asked Thorf.

"Cleansing accident." Human Zar had their arm not only in a brace, but also in a sling. "The littles up and decided to mix parkour with wall-painting with the contents of their diapers. Gross, not fun, and borderline exhausting."

"The cleaning caused this injury?"

"Not... quite. I'd got all of it purged from the walls okay, but on the way down from the last smear, I slipped off the step-stool and landed wrong." Human Zar paused to devour a mouthful. "Kids were more upset about the fall than the cleanup. Little bothers..."

Thorf stared at the Human. "You injured yourself in the act of cleaning up after your young."

"No, I cleaned up okay, it was in the aftermath of cleaning up. Bent my arm very much the wrong way, landing on it."

Thorf, knowing the habits of Deathworlders, small children, and small Deathworlder children combined, said, "You need a pet Forensic Cleaner..."

"Honestly, getting a license to handle one of those is looking to be worth it."

Which was, no matter how peaceful or hazardous one's origin is, a parenting mood.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / karelnoppe]

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I am so glad to have managed to avoid the faeces-painting XD though the pet forensic cleaner sounds like it would have been super useful for messes the dogs couldn't clean up >_>

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