Challenge #02606-G049: Rude Questions Welcome
A family is traveling home after spending time with friends and relatives for a holiday. The children are bored and ask their father, a botanical researcher, to tell them about the human companions that they got to travel with. -- Anon Guest
"You do understand that I'm better with plants," said their Papa. "I've heard a lot of things about Humans and some of them might even be true."
The children laughed, so too did the Human sharing the travel lounge with them. "I can confirm or deny," said the N'Ozzie named Jef, "but I can't confirm or deny that my confirmations or denials are at all accurate."
More laughter from the kids. N'Ozzies and humans alike might be Deathworlders with a reputation for literally everything, but they also had a reputation for being entertaining. Long trips were especially good because most Humans had a short amuse-by date. When a Human gets bored, they create entertainment. For themselves, for others, for innocent bystanders[1]... Humans pack potential entertainment for long interstellar trips. Road Trip Bingo isn't it.
One of the kids had zero filters and all the questions. "Can you survive being decapitated?"
"For about five seconds, and only technically."
It went like that for longer than it really should have.
"Could you really chop your own arm off and live?" was answered with, "Yes, but I prefer not to."
"How much blood can get lost before you pass out?" got, "I think it's one standard volume unit before unconsciousness, and two and a half before death. I could be wrong."
"Can you really consume poison and survive?" had the reply, "Depends on the poison. The danger's always in the dosage."
On one hand, it was educational. On the other hand, they couldn't be certain how educational it really was. It was certainly entertaining, and, if details were necessary, Human Jef could provide some anecdotes about their mate Baz. They parted ways as friends, of course. Mostly because a Human can't spend a week in someone's company without at least coming away with contact details.
Once they parted ways, the eldest child decided to ask a question. "Were all of those answers real?"
Trust the quiet ones to ask the difficult ones. "We can look it up to be sure," said their Papa, "but I'm moderately certain Human Jef was telling us specific truths."
[1] According to transit staff, you have not lived until you have experienced a skate-by ukulele-ing. Or, for that matter, an improvised rollerskating conga line come marching band.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / twoellis]
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