Challenge #02469-F279: Close to the Skins
Tighty whities, saggy and baggy, or not much there at all... your wash tells a lot about you. -- Anon Guest
Of all the mysteries of Human existence, the concept of 'clothing' and 'decency' are the pinnacle of Human attempts at civilisation. Primary amongst the examples trotted out for debate are 'underwear'. Human underwear has gone from articles of clothing to protect the outer clothing from assorted bodily excretions, to hardly anything at all designed to cover intimate portions of skin from accidental viewing, to skin-tight copies of outerwear and back again.
Rael, for instance, was sometimes reminded about Humans 'never having enough trousers'. A quote from one of their own writers about their people's ideas of what was proper clothing. In this case, Ambassador Shayde couldn't have enough pants.
She had the long, grey slacks that were part of her everyday uniform as something of a public servant. Underneath that, because she had been taught it was proper, and because it was a form of armour, were the Ships' Skins. Or, as she referred to them, witches britches an' a belly tee. What witchcraft had to do with Ships' Skins evaded Rael, and he was almost too afraid to ask.
Under those, Shayde wore her preferred pre-shattering cotton undies, purchasable only by catalogue from Terran colonies. He'd seen the catalogue. There was an astonishing array of patterns, logos, witticisms, and other means of display. All of which completely confounded him.
"You don't let anyone see these," he said, indicating a picture of a pair of briefs with the words, Are you nasty? printed across the rear. "What's the point?"
"Well, I'm no' buyin' those ones," Shayde flicked off the display. "It's more about what's fun, I guess. Li'l daydreams about someone around tae appreciate the view."
Rael shook his head. "I don't get it."
"Says the man who owns patterned longjohns."
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / NPetrushka]
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