Challenge #02402-F212: Macgyvering itsteemCreated with Sketch.

in fiction •  last month 


You know, after seeing how humans break video games, aliens shouldn't ve so surprised by the dumb things humans think of to solve problems. Also, they should practically expect said dumb things to work. -- Anon Guest

There is a saying, If it's dumb and it works, it wasn't that dumb. It should be no surprise at all that the Humans were responsible for coining it. Humans have a song celebrating how they do, or did, 'all the dumb things'. Reports of those who have heard it say that it 'slaps'.

Humans do silly, daft, ridiculous, and illogical things all the time. They do it to their interactive entertainments, especially in a competitive frame of mind. Some win prizes for how thoroughly they can make an interactive entertainment break in amusing ways. It should, therefore, be no surprise that Humans tend to view daily life and the challenges therein with the same kind of gung-ho, whatever-works attitude.

It should be no surprise. Unfortunately, it very often is such. Take the Talqathi Station Event, where a micrometeor shower got past all available defences and added lethal holes to the hulls. Of course there was a scramble for livesuits. Of course there was a general evacuation... but the Humans who lived there were attached to the place and didn't want to leave their home behind.

Therefore, the Humans were the ones to go around with ductape and chewing gum, patching what they could, where they could, and using temporary breathers as they journeyed from one damaged site to the next. It was not incredible to watch because the species with more preservation sense than the Humans[1] had long since decamped for safety. What was recorded on the securicams was, however, interesting to watch in the same way that a train wreck or a plane crash is interesting to watch.

The Humans were very casual about it all, not even concerned with the outgassing in progress. They strolled from damage site to damage site, calmly applying patches and feeling for leaks with their bare hands. Once the hole was identified, a patch in the form of chewed gum or ductape got applied with the same seemingly casual calm that was evident in the Humans' stroll.

There were two thousand holes in the shadowed side of Talqathi Station. There were two hundred Humans living aboard it at the time. Though they may not have patched a hundred holes each, they were pretty close to reaching that average.

It took them less than an hour to save the station from a total outgassing, and many donated air stocks from their crafts to 'tide the station over' until a proper supply was obtained.

It was remarkably and life-threateningly risky, but it worked, and that was the point the Humans kept driving home.

"All of you are suffering the effects of decompression."

"But it worked..."

"You have bruising all over your hands."

"But it worked..."

"There are petechial hemorrhages in your eyes."

"But it worked!"

Both sides were very upset about all of this.

[1] AKA: Everyone else.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / innovari]

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Priorities? XD