Challenge #02397-F207: Spiced Up EncountersteemCreated with Sketch.

in fiction •  2 months ago 


One particular species has a SEVERE negative reaction to capsaicin. So, when a pirate group of them attack a ship, one human creates an air-locked cage covered in hot sauce. -- Anon Guest

"Wait, so they're level three Havenworlders? And they're trying to conquer this ship?" Human Jo seemed very confused.

"They do have superior weaponry," argued the Captain. "It is wiser to allow them to take what they want."

"Bugger that," said Human Sam. "They want trouble? We'll give 'em trouble."

Human Jo had very wicked laugh. "Captain? We're going to need to use the entire barrel of Flavour Additive 29-624."

So did Human Sam. "Ho yeah, that'd do it."

The Captain, alert to the moods of her Ships' Humans, said in a warning tone, "What are you two planning?"

"Just get everyone into the main cargo bay with all the valuable stuff," advised Human Sam. "We'll take care of the rest."

"Trust us," said Human Jo. "This is what you hired us for."

Captain Nehzbyt ushered her crew into the cargo bay as instructed, with all the most valuable items on board, and watched the securicam feeds in between looking up what Flavour Additive 29-624 was.

Manifest item, the text read, innocent of its meaning. Forty Standard Volume Units[1] of purified capsaicin. There were warnings about how Havenworlders should stay away from the stuff, how it was a hazardous irritant, and how Humans liked to eat it 'for a bit of zip' in their foodstuffs.

...and now the Ships' Humans were spraying down every possible approach and doorway to the cargo holds. With the purified capsaicin.

It should have been red. It should have glowed in the dark. It should have given off ominous clouds and light, warning all of its presence. Such was not the case. The surfaces it rested on were not visibly altered at all. If anything, they had a slightly oily sheen to them. Something that was easily missed.

To add insult to injury, the Humans started playing Ring of Fire over the ships' PA system.

Then, to make sure the invading Havenworlders knew who was boss, Human Jo took off her livesuit helmet and pointedly licked a capsaicin-enhanced wall.

Yet another band of pirates halted in their tracks by the ingenuity of Ships' Humans.

[1] Roughly equivalent to a litre.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / Makaule]

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Why did she lick the wall instead of merrily pouring some down her throat from the originating conainer? DOES SHE KNOW WHAT'S TOUCHED THAT WALL?! XD

I suppose the capsaicin might have sterilised it XD

Extra badass points? They ran out of capsaicin after they sprayed it everywhere? I thought it was cool at the time? Only the deities know.