"Hey, Internutter, what's my story? Where am I and what am I doing here? I would really like to know." -- Anon Guest
Oh, shit. It's one of those. Every author gets them, sooner or later. The character who has to argue with everything, including their author. Fanfiction dot net used to be rife with them back in the day. The fact that it's happening now? After so much time spent honing my wordsmithery? That's embarrassing.
"Hey, I'm talking to you. Pay attention and make up your mind about something, already. Stop monologuing and get on with it!"
Rude. I like to take my time about things. Names, for a start. Are you alien or Human, which world am I writing for or is this a new one? What naming conventions am I going with or is this a mouthfeel day? I mean, with this attitude and all, I could go for something ironic. Pax. I like the sound of that. A belligerent character named Pax.
"Wow. An entire three-letter name. Does that come with a body? A history? More personality than 'belligerent'? You really are the laziest piece of shit writer on the internet, you know that?"
Have you tried coming up with a unique story every day for six years? I don't think so. You're a figment of my imagination anyway. I can stuff you into my 'potential ideas' file and forget about you for literal years until something solidifies. I could chuck you into a corner somewhere and you'll be an itty bitty bit character in a forgotten tale in the middle of all my other forgotten tales and that, my alleged friend, will be that.
"Okay, okay, okay... so you have ultimate power over my literal life. I get it. Let's try and be reasonable..."
Hm. Amazing how that works. I'm all about reason. Let's reason things out. I gave you a three-letter name, so you're more likely to be in my Amalgam Station universe... The interesting question is - Human, Alien, or AI?
"Oh, I get a choice? My words come out of your mouth anyway. Let's be inorganic. It can be interesting to be an AI..."
Oh yes, AI's. I have a soft spot for robots and such.
"Yeah, I've seen your smut collection. Shame on you."
Welp. Looks like the story's too long. We could workshop this again at some other time. Maybe.
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