Challenge #02362-F172: A Sundae on FoursdaysteemCreated with Sketch.

in fiction •  2 months ago 


First Contact should always be celebrated with Ice cream! -- Anon Guest

Humans are pretty good at interesting food. Their food-on-a-stick philosophy has solved, and started, many combats, mostly over who gets the last theobromine-free chocolate one. The introduction of popsicles to the Galactic Alliance blew many a mind. So, too, did Ice Cream.

A ready and easily consumed, portable cold treat of fats and sugars. Some blended to be certain that there were no allergens present[1]. For those who could not, under any circumstances, consume fats, the Humans had already invented Gelato. It was too late, of course, since the very concept of Ice Cream became so rapidly accepted into the Alliance, that it became 'Gelato Ice Cream' in the hearts and minds of billions.

It happened that way with Chai Tea. It happened that way with Pita Bread. It has happened multiple times to multiple things. It will likely happen again until the end of intelligent life in the Universe. All efforts to prevent it have not been at all effective, more's the pity. However, offering the least-offensive food treats to assumed-cogniscent life is the fastest way to make a friend before surmounting the language barrier.

Tasty food has always and ever been a bonding experience, and most cogniscents can never pass up easy calories.

Therefore, on formal, greeting occasions, a dessert bar is generally a grand idea. Making certain that said dessert bar contains no plausible poisons is even better. Plainly labelling even the mildest of potential poisons is possibly the best idea ever. Likewise, not being offended when the guests of honour scan the food anyway.

What was a bad idea was telling Shayde any of this.

On one hand, she hadn't got anything wrong... not exactly. She had, in her words, 'knocked out all the stops' in an effort to be amenable, hospitable, and above all a good host. The individual items in the buffet were sorted according to food and nutrition content, whether they were meant to be kept warm or cold, and finally, according to potential threat level.

The peanuts, for instance, were inside an airlock rig with waldoes and a conveyor belt so those who liked peanuts could add them to their food.

She had certainly done everything possible to accommodate everyone.

But... she had also printed banners in all known languages that said, Welcome to the Madhouse. was getting increasingly difficult to tell if this was naivety on her part or her very deliberately winding everyone else up.

[1] Like many in the Galactic Alliance, Humans can also be lactose intolerant and possess a negative reaction to peanut oils. Non-dairy ice cream has gone further into unknown territory than dogs and that is saying something.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / ajafoto]

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I reckon the latter with the former as an excuse XD