Challenge #02353-F163: But it Looks Like FunsteemCreated with Sketch.

in #fiction8 months ago

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I can't believe I have to say this but, stay out of volcanoes. -- Anon Guest

Of all the multiple and nuanced arguments in favour of Humanity being an insane species, there is one that is simply one word:

Vulcanologists.

Though the field of science exists across any species born on a world with tectonic activity, only the Humans ever came up with the idea of wandering around and poking at a mountain that might explode. Everyone else was sensible about it, inventing probes, robots, and other non-invasive means of finding out the how and why of exploding mountains.

Humans take one look at bubbling cauldera and think, Oh, this is interesting, let's get right up in there and make a record of it to show everyone else. If there's a source of hot water, they think, Hey, this will make bathing way more convenient than heating water by other means, instead of the far more sensible, Hey, water and magma don't mix well, let's make sure this is safe before we add ourselves and a rubber duck.

Only Human Vulcanologists choose their footwear based on its melting temperature versus the length of time it's allegedly safe to be tromping around on an active lava flow. Everyone else in the known universe generally holds that length of time to be zero seconds or less, but not Humans. Humans judge that time by how long they can remain in their protective suits before things start getting lethal.

Humans consider this smarter than -say- not getting into areas where things could get lethal at all. Then again, this is the same species who saw an enormous super-cauldera and called it a National Park then charged other Humans to camp in it, wander around inside it, and take records for curiosity's sake, or to prove that they were there. Humans have to be discouraged from throwing coins into a hot spring and collectively causing an eruption by blocking it[1]. Which just goes to show that anything a Human does for luck is most likely to cause the exact opposite.

All this, taken together, can mean that peoples wishing to keep their Ships Human out of clear and present danger should never land their exploratory survey vessels anywhere near anything resembling a volcano. The Human is almost guaranteed to head straight for it and dive in. Any attempt to warn them to stay out of there will be greeted with a, "Why?" as they continue to absently stroll right in anyway.

[1] Yes this is actually a thing. Also Vulcanologists and Microbiologists in Yellowstone are also concerned about the metal pollution harming the extremophiles that live in there. The more you know.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / wead]

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Some things are apparently much better in person? XD