Human: Floor is lava!
Alien: WAIT, WHAT?! — Anon Guest
Humans love to play. This does not always mean games of logic and reason, since many Humans lack the capacity for one or both of those attributes. Humans will not always play physical games with solid rule sets, either. Sometimes... they prefer to play with reality.
Human Jef and Tharyx were standing on an inactive console and an otherwise vacant chair, respectively. Xarq stared at the tableau. He knew their Ships’ Human was relatively young, but... Surely they were trained in proper furniture interaction.
Without prompting of any kind, Human Jef said, “The floor is lava.”
Xarq blinked at this information. Delivered so casually, so factually, that it might explain everything, yet the floor was definitely carpeted deck plating as it had been since the day the Crusty Treasure launched. “The floor is structurally sound cerametal rated to thousands of degrees kelvin, thousands of SWU’s pressure, and covered in noise-reducing carpeting.”
Tharyx turned to Human Jef and said, “Game over, dude?”
Human Jef sighed and sat on the console in a pout. “It’s. A. Game. We’re playing pretend. Like... the simplest game of pretend there is. Basically, you have to get around without touching the floor.”
Tharyx, being helpful, added, “It is an excuse for physical activity and creative mental exercise.”
“And you get to jump around and be silly,” said Human Jef, no longer doing either. In fact, Human Jeff looked more than a little down in the dumps. “It’s... fun.”
“Fun,” sighed Xarq. Of course it was fun. That seemed to be the chief motivation for a Human to do anything. “You are still performing your duties whilst engaged in this... fun?”
“Er,” said Human Jef.
“More or less,” said Tharyx. “More less than more...”
“Just deliver the progress reports on time,” said Xarq. Having a Ships’ Human was useful in emergencies, but between them... they needed certain things. Opportunities to be silly was just one of those things. Xarq decided to have a word with the Captains.
Twenty minutes later, the slightly confused message went out over the shipboard PA. “Attention crew... for those who wish to participate... the floor... is lava.”
 Pronounced, SIH-woo’s. Standard Weight Units, each roughly equivalent to a kilogram.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / mantonino]
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