Challenge #02263-F073: Children Problems
Human children grow their teeth. Problems arise as consequence.
How would that be for species, wou have three rows with hundreds of teeth? How would they react to a human toddler with their special problems? -- Anon Guest
The Edge Territories. Here there be Humans. Raashig was assured that, as a Selachid, the Humans wouldn't attempt to start any aggression. That said, such assurances were not a guarantee. There was always a minimum of one Humans who was drunk enough, belligerent enough, or just operating under enough of a wager[1] to try and pick a fight with a member of species who had eternally regenerating multiple rows of teeth.
Nevertheless, Raashig was more than a little bit nervous as a Human parental and their... pup? Cub? Kit? Their young... climbed aboard the transport to Huaddifoq Station. Humans were famously protective of their young. Dangerously protective. Raashig kept a weather eye on parental and child and attempted to look mostly harmless. If that couldn't be accomplished, then he would at least appear to not be hungering for Human flesh.[2] Raashig carefully watched them both in case they did something hazardous and did his best to be just another passenger attempting to get to their destination alive.
The Human young was small and irritated, producing a constant stream of complaining noises at the state of the world in general and presumably the taste of anything they put in their mouth in particular. The parental, meanwhile, jiggled the young about and attempted to entertain them or at minimum provide them with something to gnaw on. They noticed Raashig. "Don't mind Cal, they're chucking a grumpy because they're getting new teeth."
Individually, those words made sense. Arranged in that particular order... not so much. Raashig could guess at the meaning of 'chucking a grumpy'. Firstly because Humans referenced throwing all sorts of things, including non-tangible concepts. Humans could throw up, throw down, throw a fit, throw a wobbler, throw it all away, and even throw a party. They could lob a softball, chuck a howler, or straight-up hurl. By comparison, 'chucking a grumpy' was almost intuitively obvious and was ready to join anyone's linguistic toolkit.
The Human young was busy chomping at their parental's fingers[3] with what looked to be completely vacant gums. "Your young has no teeth?"
"Not yet," the Human parental didn't seem to mind that their young was ineffectively attempting cannibalism. "They come in as they approach a year old. They do hurt coming out, poor little lamb."
Raashig double-checked the Human dictionary. Lamb: a small fur-bearing ungulate maintained for food and for the seasonal use of the shaved-off fur. The young of the adult Sheep. Sometimes kept as a pet - see file Mary Had a Little Lamb.
The file referenced was no help whatsoever. "This happens every time your young replace teeth?"
"Replace? No, we only have two sets of teeth, Powers bless. These are little Cal's milk teeth."
"You're mammals. The having of teeth impedes acquiring lactate?"
"Well, yes. The little darlings do bite. Ouch. We call them that because they can still digest milk during that stage of their lives. I know. We're confusing."
Raashig felt some contribution was necessary. "My kind never not have teeth. They're always growing. Never pain for the young."
The Human parental shrugged and said, "I'm slightly jealous."
[1] With Humans, the likelihood of all three occurring at once is 1:1 odds. It's amazing what a Human would do for the sake of twenty Minutes or less.
[2] Cogniphagia - the consumption of an intelligent creature's flesh(and the killing of a cogniscent for such purposes), is strictly outlawed unless the cogniscent in question has made it part of their will and testament. There are many who assume that it isn't as regulated as it is and are still paranoid about the possibility.
[3] Centuries of experience have told Humans through the ages that there is no better chew toy for teething Humans than their parental's fingers.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / zimmytws]
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