"Why am I always either the meat shield or the distraction ?"
"Because you are the only one here that's immortal. And you got your regeneration thing."
"I may be immortal, but it doesn't change the fact that those pikes friggin hurt.... And it ruin my vest." -- Anon Guest
Never let anyone tell you that immortality is a blessing. Anyone with a lick of sense knows that it is a curse. It's even worse if you're immortal and an adventurer. Never mind how it happened, that has been lost to history. I could look it up in my library of diaries, but those chronicles are... disheartening.
Memory is limited. Love has expiry dates, even between immortals. Passion can thrill, but it can get monotonous. Every drug in existence isn't the thrill ride you may expect. After a couple of centuries, all you want to do is retire into a crypt and sleep until the end of the world. Worst of all are the adventurers who seek to use an immortal as - well - the irresistible force against the immovable object.
This small crowd were no different. They had bypassed all the safeguards on my crypt-fortress by sneaking in through a wall that used to be under a landslide. Evidently, the land slid away at some point. Thiranel the Eternal glared at them. They were almost a joke of a cohort. An Elf, a Human, and Kobold walk into a tomb... Thiranel decided to skip the usual cliches and go straight to the meat of it. "Let me guess. A great peril endangers this world, and you have been sent to recruit my services for the ultimate battle."
"Er," said the Elf. "Yes. Spot on, actually."
"Lives are at stake," said the Kobold.
"Specifically, ours," said the Human.
Of course they were. "So the entire tomb loaded with traps, pitfalls, warnings, keep out signs and elemental guardians wasn't enough of a hint? I'm actually leaning on the side of wanting the world to end at this point."
"The enemy is a life-stealing lich and might actually permanently kill you," said the Elf.
Thiranel stared at them. That deal was so amazing that he might actually bother to learn their names. "I am willing to take that chance," he said.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / philipus]
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