Challenge #02133-E304: Forewarned is...steemCreated with Sketch.

in #fiction2 years ago

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Humans love things that explode. "Ooh look! fireworks." -- Anon Guest

Things that Humans love that go bang in various ways: a list compiled by non-Humans.

  1. Popping candy. Effervescent crystals encapsulated in chocolate and sugar. When dissolving in saliva, produce a crackling sensation in the mouth and sinuses. Harmful to those with theobromine sensitivity, but otherwise mostly harmless. Offensensitivity rating: low.

  2. Popcorn. Grains originating from the American continents, heated until the water inside the grains bursts through their own hard casing. Consumed once the explosions cease. Harmless carbohydrate, easy for all species to consume. Preparation not recommended for class three or above Havenworlders. Offensensitivity rating: low to medium.

  3. Carbonic acid beverages in sealed containers. Mixtures of sweetener, flavourings, and carbonic acid in containers that must be ruptured in order for consumption to occur. May not always go bang, but sudden, violent eruptions of air may occur. Further, small explosions of carbon dioxide gas are to be expected. Acid content not recommended for class four or above Havenworlders. Offensensitivity rating: low [See corollary file: Mentos]

  4. Champagne. Alcoholic, carbonated beverage in a sealed container. Removing seal often causes loud bang, can cause eruption of beverage fountain if associated humans desire the same. Acid content not recommended for class four or above Havenworlders. Sudden noise from seal removal not recommended for class two or above Havenworlders. Offensensitivity rating: medium.

  5. Balloons. Latex bags filled with pressurised gas. Not meant to go bang, but Humans will cause explosions with no predictability. Often present at Human parties. Not recommended for class two or above Havenworlders. Offensensitivity rating: medium to high.

  6. Party Poppers. Small, contained explosions designed to propel chaff in aimed directions. The chaff in question is either streamers or glitter. Usually present during Human parties. Not recommended for class two or above Havenworlders. Offensensitivity rating: medium.

  7. Fireworks. Rockets designed to explode in an artistic fashion, replete with colour, sparkles, and shapes. Sudden, loud noises are unavoidable. Not recommended for class two or above Havenworlders. Offensensitivity rating: medium to high.

There was an extended entry entitled, Just blowing shit up which explained that Humans generally loved explosions and frequently featured them in their recorded entertainments, their weapons, and their wars. Humans included recreational explosions in their celebratory activities. Sometimes, humans made explosions as a hobby.

If a human went through the day without something violent happening, it was probably a small miracle. Yet they were also, largely, the most careful and understanding of the Deathworlders known to the Galactic Alliance. They were a paradox.

The only hazard her Human bodyguard would pose, according to the entry on the species, was an occasional lapse into _sarcastic condescension. Which would only occur if her assigned Human got 'snippy'. According to this profile, T'chioriz's guardian Human would pose no such threat; though there was a warning for handling. Humans liked to grab and hold cute creatures, and T'chioriz had many features that a Human may class as 'cute'.

Thusly, she wore a battle-ready livesuit when meeting Human Gaz for the first time.

She expected the bulky livesuit. She expected the enormous stature and heavy footfalls. She did not expect the squeal.

"Aaaaw, you're adorable! Lookit da fluffy liddle ears..." they cleared their throat. "Apologies. Uh. Your appearance goes straight to my protective instincts."

Oh good. They had self-restraint.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / Vadimsadovski]

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