Challenge #02037-E213: Controversial TopicsteemCreated with Sketch.

in #fiction2 years ago

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Please tell us more about the “almost war” of Dog or not dog! -- Anon Guest

[AN: Callback to this post for those who don't want to crawl through my archives]

Very few Deathworlder animals are so useful and varied that they enter the Galactic scene before the cogniscents they share their homeworld with are welcomed. Even fewer are so varied that assorted cogniscent species are still attempting to define the pattern in which they fit.

Only one has a game that revolves entirely around that concept. They call it, Dog or Not Dog? and it was originally aimed at pre-literate Human children before it invaded Galactic Society like a plague. And like a plague, it came fairly close to decimating the Galactic population, or worse.

The scene: an Ambassadorial Meet in the Grand Conference Arena in Hitizzy. There is talk of breaking the Meet into smaller sub-groups and extending the Meet into months so that all important schedules can be met whilst less time is wasted. As one might expect from such a grand change, there is much in the way of pointless debate. One Ambassador, bored and waiting for the call to vote, has opened up the game for something to do other than knitting. Another Ambassador, just as bored, watches a few rounds.

But they can't watch in silence forever.

"That is not a dog," he says in Galstand. "That is a toy known as a 'teddy bear'."

"Correct," cheers the audio. "That is a dog! Well done!"

The Ambassador playing the game preens in self-congratulatory smugness. And sneered at the Ambassador who was shoulder-surfing. "Some of us are better at recognising true canines than others," ze said, overflowing with snark. "And I will thank you to play the game for yourself. If you can."

"Competitive?" suggested the other. "Best of fifteen wins a trade concession?"

"You're on."

Competitive mode was one of those ill-advised mods that really should have been debated amongst the Fellowship of Galactic Fellowship before it was released into the wild. It allowed anyone sharing a network to share a match of Dog or Not Dog to certain parameters. Fifteen rounds being the upper limit.

Other Ambassadors, just as bored, joined the impromptu parley.

It took three rounds before Ambassadors were sniping at each other in text chat. Seven before physical threats were unleashed. Nine before they started yelling at each other across the floor.

In eleven rounds, decorum collapsed completely. The Ambassador for H'rithas actually attempted to sting the Ambassador for Voxxal. Someone threw a punch. Someone else threw their data reader. The Ambassador for Lecthis, who didn't understand what was going on but nevertheless wanted to show willing, threw a paper plane. Knitting needles were used offensively.

And since there was no unified sleep gas formulae that worked on all combatants, Security had to intervene. Aggressively.

By the time the situation was controlled, there were fifty cases of Grievous Bodily Harm, two hundred and seventy-three lacerations, four hundred and eighty-five contusions, and close to two thousand cases of mortification by association.

It was the longest Meet Hiatus on record, and some Ambassadors will still grumble about it to this day.

Dog or Not Dog? is officially blocked from play during, and in the location of, Ambassadorial Meets.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / Colecanstock]

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