Please write some more about the Goddess of Fools and her human sacrifices! That last one was such a cliffhanger! -- Anon Guest
[AN: That would be this story for those who don't have the time to scroll back that far. And I have to wonder... cliffhanger? The dude died and was headed for Paradise. That's pretty final IMHO]
She was about to collect her latest offering. A young man just before coming of age. He could see her, but his body still lived, yet. At least he was free of pain.
"Duz'n a dyin' man gedda kiss, boo'ful?" he slurred.
Not Yet, said the Goddess of Fools.
"Not on my watch," said another voice. A cleric with gifts of healing laid his hands on the still breathing form of Garron Spynach. The Goddess of Life and Love flickered behind the cleric.
The Goddesses faced each other like cats. Oh. It's You, they said in unison.
Mine, said the Goddess of Fools. He Has Sacrificed Himself To Me.
He Is Not Dead Yet, challenged the Goddess of Life and Love. Therefore He Is Not Sacrificed.
He Has Spilled Blood For Me, argued the Goddess of Fools. He Is Mine.
Live Or Die? teased the Goddess of Life and Love.
The Goddess of Fools considered this. She had plenty of sacrifices in her Paradise. All fools doing foolish things for the beautiful beings she conjured for their pleasure. What it would be to have a Saint? What it would be to have a Faith? What it would be to have a Church?
It would be... something new. More power, indeed. Something to show those high-and-mighty types in the more accepted pantheon. Live Or Die, she agreed. He Is Mine.
The Goddess of Life and Love smiled the world's shittiest smile. The type that said, Oh, boy; you are in for a bunch of shit and I'm going to love watching it happen to you. And then she said, We Are Agreed. And granted her Cleric a true miracle.
Garron Spynach won the fight between life and death. His wounds closed, and he recovered his full health.
"Praise to the Goddess," breathed the Cleric.
The mortal man, having been so close to death, having been Claimed as a Saint, could see her now. He smiled for her and said, "Do I get that kiss, now, gorgeous?"
The Cleric turned, seeing only empty ground. "There's... nobody there."
"You're shitting me," he argued, levering himself up. "She's right here, real as rain." And he reached out to touch her. His hand went right through her breasts without even a breeze.
Only You Can See Me, My Saint, she said. You Have Shed Blood For Me. Now You Are Mine.
The Cleric was squinting. Perceiving her Divine Presence, but not which Divine Presence. "You've been blessed," he said. "A divine being walks with you." And some slight anger, "How did you become a Saint?"
"She said I shed blood for her," said Garron, still confused. "I don't get it."
"You'd best follow me to the nearest Temple of All Gods," the Cleric decided. "There are Bishops who can sort this out."
Garron followed as bid, and the Goddess walked with him. "Do I gotta take vows of chastity? Because that would suck."
"That's between you and your divinity."
Chastity Would Take All The Fun Out Of It, said the Goddess. If There Is No Promise Of Sex, Why Do Anything?
"Yeah, I think she's in favour of sex," said Garron, new Saint for an unknown Goddess.
I Will Bless You With Resilience, she decided. So Long As You Do Not Think Things Through, You Will Survive Incredibly Deadly Feats. You Will Attract Many Of Those You Want.
The First Church of Fools was off to a very interesting start.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / artjazz]
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