Challenge #01966-E142: One Way of Doing it...
Human sneezes, gurgles, wipes face. "I'bve gotta a cold, S'mime O.K." -- Anon Guest
[AN: Nonny, I have no idea what you mean by S'mime there. I can't correct it.]
Of all the terrifying things humanity had invented, the universal winner had to be the Immunoflu. Humanity never could conquer the common cold, nor influenza in its multitudinous strains. But they did tame it. They bio-engineered strains of rhinovirii to improve the immunity of their fellow humans against other, more deadly diseases.
Minor colds could even be created for 'booster shots'.
Manners changed with the invention. With the invention of the immunoflu, the CDC actually encouraged its spread. They finally had a means of spreading an immunity to otherwise isolated groups. Groups who had been in danger from virally-induced extinction. A Human could catch a sniffle for a week or two and be protected against all kinds of diseases that could harm and debilitate others.
Humanity was ruthless with some of its extinctions. They got all the great killers: AIDS, Hepatitis, Measles, Mumps, Chicken Pox, Pertussis, Polio... and humans had so very many killer diseases. And when they got rid of the big ones, they had a knack for finding more. Especially with cross-species infection.
The truly alarming part was what it did to humans.
"CHOO!" Human Pam bought a small square of soft paper to their nose. There was a baleful honk.
The rest of the bridge crew were taking their assorted de-stressing medication.
"Lieutenant," chided the Captain. "Can you warn us before your next detonation?"
"'S the immunoflu, sir," Human Pam honked again. "And I can't talk when I'm about to snee..." They trailed off, making faces for a solid minute before, "CHOO!" Honk. Cough, cough, cough. "...sneeze. Sorry, sir. I'm trying to come up with a shipwide offensensitivity filter... so... you're..." more faces. The crew braced themselves. "CHOO!" Hooonnnnnk. "You're protected from sudden, loud noises." Human Pam sat in their station chair and drank from a sealed vessel they'd tucked out of the way. "And it's my duty to others to spread this thing around. So everyone's protected... from... the... CHOO! ...other diseases." Honk. Sniffle.
Humans. They had to do everything in a disturbing manner. Whatever was wrong with a simple needle in the arm carrying the corpses of dead virii in special solutions designed to keep them from being hazardous?
But Captain Thokk was afraid to ask. Human history was littered with examples of outright insanity.
[Extended AN: Streemian is down, out for the count, and not posting the last three pending stories I have stored up in there. I will angst about this later, but in the meantime, the site says "takedown". Is this a permacrash? What scheduling services am I supposed to use now? Is scheduling even allowed any more? I need it though...]
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / pjaun]
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