Challenge #01935-E111: The Brat Who Would Be King
The modern 'royal' needs the stamina of a marathon runner, the patience of Job, the ability to be pleasant to the most boring bunch of Social Climbers and have a cast iron bladder. She must also be a Constitutional Law expert and a crack shot. The rest of you just have to put up with anyone who wins a popularity contest. -- Anon Guest
You may have heard the words, Nobles oblige, or, uneasy rests the head that wears a crown. These two phrases are symbiotic. The ruler on the throne has to be kind to those who support their lifestyle, or revolution with end their reign with a short, sharp shock. They also have to maintain certain standards, be a beacon to the people, and otherwise carry on as if they are not, in fact, a flawed human being who may or may not think it's funny to Dutch Oven their spouse[1].
Royalty is trained, almost from birth, to keep their private matters private. Thus, any leak of humanity in the common eye is the worst of scandals. Thus discouraged from human behaviour, royalty therefore avoids all traces of human behaviour for a minimum of half a generation.
Politicians, people who are elected based on their relatability, are known to start as human, as well as known to lie. Nobody expects much out of a politician. Which is why it is never a smart idea for any politician to grasp for a crown. But that never stopped Quinton Wynn.
First, he bought the vote. Of course what he did was illegal, but by the time he had reached the houses of state, he had made the practice completely legal. And it helped to be in a political system that paid lip service to democracy, but was actually an oligarchy.
Next, he bought the systems of checks and balances to be certain that anything he did from then on was legal. Including declaring his nation a Kingdom, and crowning himself first monarch. True, he unified a nation that was a collection of scattered identities. What actually happened was that he united a nation against him by being the most ruinous ruler they had ever had.
He basically re-introduced the serf system, deregulated any and all safety procedures, and turned half of the country into a massive factory to make products that none of the common throng could afford. He alienated every other nation five seconds after he cornered the market on his selected wares. They had to come to him. Preferably on their knees.
What he never expected was war from both sides.
The common people rose up, and King Wynn never bothered to pay his security detail enough to be sure his life was worth anything to him. And with that simple devaluation, Wynn... lost.
He lost his throne. He lost his crown. He lost his family. He lost his friends, who had never been real friends to begin with. He lost his holdings. He lost his money. He lost his life.
And left devastation in his wake.
Some of the remaining oligarchs tried for the crown, stating how only they had the resources to save the nation. And for three kings, the people let them. Then came the reign of terror, where anyone with oligarchical leanings was hunted down and executed, their property distributed to those who needed it most.
So much of what was broken got destroyed. For a while, the ideals of the oligarchs were all that remained. People honestly believed that one should earn everything one had. But it was not a lasting state. There were people who needed, but could not do. There were those who could do in abundance, and chose to give. Those who hoarded anything for themselves were soon hated. Then reviled. Then hunted down as well.
In a roundabout way, King Wynn kept his promise. It was only by his death, and not his decrees, that he and others just like him changed the entire world.
[1] For those sheltered souls: a Dutch Oven is when one farts in bed and then sweeps the covers over one's love-mate so they get the full, alleged benefit of those gasses. This can, has, and will be grounds for expedient and costly divorce.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / graja]
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