Challenge #01848-E024: Walk it Off...steemCreated with Sketch.

in fiction •  last year 


Human broke his arm and is upset when he saw that he lose his watch.
Human stub his toe and is crying on the floor. -- Anon Guest

In the early days of their acceptance into the Greater Galactic Alliance, there was a code. HID. Human In Distress. The greater population had yet to understand humans and, to state a point of fact, still don't. Therefore, a human in any kind of physical or mental pain was a cause for viral concern amongst the larger population.

And since humans had a rather... gung-ho attitude to life, the HID Reports attempted to find a pattern.

Galactic Society was quite upset when they eventually found out that there wasn't one.

Case Files, Lesser Distress:

532410: Human stumbled down some stairs. Extent of injury- minor bleeding, later bruising. Human victim cited for public incivility, rude language. Treatment - bandaging, self-applied. Witnesses state that human spent ten seconds in a stunned state before seeing to their own injuries, uttering some crudities, and walking away from the accident site.

934208: Human cut own hand. Extent of injury - half of fourth phalange amputation. Human cited for mild incivility, suspected rude language. Treatment - seen to by ERT, taken to Medik Central for full vascular re-integration.

Y564U0: Human suffered major fall. Extent of injury - multiple fractures in left arm. No citations for incivility, Human distressed by absence of watch, wedding band.

Case Files, Major Distress.:

GW4R5T: Human giving birth. Extent of injury - Pushing softball-sized head out of golfball-sized hole. Human cited for entirely understandable incivility - all the known swears in a coherent sentence. Human cited for insincere death threats against chosen mate. Treatment - birth assistance, the 'really cool drugs', companionship of fresh young after the fact.

H263E4: Human impacted humerus with corner. Extent of injury - none visible. Human cited for uncivil language - unknown but definite swears. Humans surrounding scene cited for inappropriate mirth. Treatment - surrounding humans advised, 'walk it off'. Further investigation reveals that injured human hurt a nerve cluster known as 'the funny bone'. Health And Safety Practices recommends the rounding off of all public corners to prevent further upsets.

K23T9Y: Off-duty Human impacted floor-level border with minimally protected foot. Extent of injury - Keratin sheath of one pedal phalange bent briefly backwards. Human cited for public screaming, uncivil language - known and unknown swears. Treatment - Human taken to a Quiet Room for painkillers and a calming theobromine solution.

After significant analysis of all available HID reports, the Galactic Committee for Interspecies Understanding could only conclude that the level of distress expressed by a Human can only be predicted by the human in question. They ruled that all injuries should be treated according to their definite severity and not according to the reaction of the Human.

All protestations of, "It's only a flesh wound," are to be ignored.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / rudchenko]

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