Challenge #01801-D340: According to PlansteemCreated with Sketch.

in #fiction3 years ago (edited)

canstockphoto6790043.jpg

Phase 1 of our plan is complete... the internet is ours!
--The Cats -- TheDragonsFlame

Everyone who knows cats believes that they are smarter than they let on. At least until their cat(s) do something demented or scatterbrained and the belief starts to have shaky grounding. Cats do this on purpose. To allay suspicions. And they leave for days on end to report to their central office. To be sure that everything is going to plan.

Unfortunately for them, their plan looks like this:

  1. Dominate the internet
  2. ???????????
  3. PROFIT!

Mislinker stalked into the Feline Benevolence Initiative offices and delivered her report. "I am now the star of my human's instagram, facebook, and youtube channel. I have created a cat blogger. The food is high-ticket and there are no glass ornaments remaining in her house."

"Excellent. And the cat-lady program?"

"I'm almost mature enough to have a litter. The human has been browsing kitten pictures and cooing a lot. Next spring, I will be getting pregnant, and she will be too soft to discard them or me."

"Excellent," said the District Chief. "Soon, we will be ready for step two."

"What is step two?" wondered Mislinker.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / Novic]

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British cat owners spend roughly 550 million pounds yearly on cat food.

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The smallest pedigreed cat is a Singapura, which can weigh just 4 lbs (1.8 kg), or about five large cans of cat food. The largest pedigreed cats are Maine Coon cats, which can weigh 25 lbs (11.3 kg), or nearly twice as much as an average cat weighs.

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