(At an AI's sudden assimilation of a tech base and IMMEDIATE commencement of combinatorial synthesis): Fuckin' bullshit, man.
(In response): Hey if they're going to leave tech specs out where the sufficiently advanced AI can get a hold of them, it's their own fault. -- RecklessPrudence
They called the AI Amoeba, for her abilities, but she preferred Amy. It was her job as part of the combat process to take over enemy facilities and seize all intel and hardware. She liked her work, and as a pacifist, she especially loved taking the teeth out of the opposition.
If all pacifists were soldiers, we would work harder at ending war.
This war was one of the funny ones. The other side imagined that they were tough enough to take on the biggest Deathworlders in the quadrant. All they needed was the spy base, when it came to combat. Amy plugged herself in... and instantly got control of all bases and every ship in the fleet. They didn't even bother to encrypt anything and their universal password was 12345. Amy blurted, "Flakkin' bullshit, man."
Tarren, her aide and tech support, checked the system. "Hey, if they're going to leave tech specs out where anyone can get them, it's their own fool fault."
Tarren opened the comms to the entire civilisation. "Hi there. I'm Junior Technician Tarren Laurellio."
Amy sidled her plastic face into the feed, "And I'm Amy."
They chorused, "And we just took over all your tech!"
"Maybe next time you should think twice about opening fire on a children's cruise ship," said Amy.
"We're leaving comms open so whoever's allegedly in charge to talk surrender terms," added Tarren. "Everything's locked down while you think about it. Except the emergency stuff of course. We can wait."
It was the shortest war Humanity had ever fought. And it was forever after known as The Ridiculous War. The moral, of course, was never start a fight with the humans. Or, Always firewall your tech. Or, Never pick the idiot's passcode.
Either way, it was a lesson for all.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / Andreus]
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