Challenge #01615-D154: MWA-HAHAHA!steemCreated with Sketch.

in #fiction4 years ago


"You think I'm evil? Well, am I evil just because I want to kill you? Am I evil just because I would rather tear you limb from limb and watch you bleed out one at a time, and I’m genuinely sad I won’t be able to before your friends arrive? Am I evil just because after I’m done here I’m going to go to your town and slaughter everyone you have ever loved out of pure spite?"
"W-what? Yes! Of course you're evil! All of that is horribly, sickeningly evil!"
"Ah... Well, excellent! I like knowing my place in the world! So few do." -- Anon Guest

I know what I am. People keep telling me. I'm evil, down to the core. I am the terror that stalks in the night. I am the rage in the pit of your heart. I am bent on destroying the world. And I love it.

The world needs heroes, that is true, but it also needs villains. Those for whom the heroes can look heroic against. If it wasn't for those like me, they'd all be fighting each other to rescue kittens from trees. Can you imagine SupaMegaMan escorting little old ladies across the road? No, of course not. I'm around.

Well. Myself and some of those... lesser villains. They all have egos the size of the moon and minions with the competency level of your average cheese. It's the way the world works, of course. Easily-duped minions and escapable death traps make it less likely that a hero will out-and-out kill a villain in order to stop the nefarious scheme of the month.

I might be evil, but I also have a vested interest in surviving any hero encounters. In the unlikely event that I actually destroy the status quo? I mean to be there to lead the new world order. And to that end, I have to convince the goodie-goodie types that there is good inside me. All it takes is the little things. Letting the annoying sidekick go is always a favourite. Kidnapping but never harming the love interest is kind of old hat.

I've got a surprising amount of mileage out of surprisingly comfortable minion accommodations. Heck, I even let them have dental on their health insurance. I'm evil, but I'm not scum.

Sure, I'll threaten a lot of things, but when the whole physical destruction comes into the picture, I'd rather destroy condemned buildings. Hey, when I rule you all? I want the infrastructure still in place.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to plant a sleeper virus in all the Starbucks' free Wifi hotspots. I have a cunning plan to create money in the bank accounts of the most destitute. It should make the economy collapse inside of a month, thus destroying civilisation as we know it.

I'd like to see SupaMegaMan punch his way out of that one.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / dariolopresti]

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