“The universe is change; life is your perception of it.”
— Marcus Aurelius -- RecklessPrudence
What alarmed Rael the most about Ambassador Shayde was how quickly she adapted to the latest in technology. Only B'Nari tech confounded her, but then, it confounded everyone but the B'Nari, who were made to merge with it. Shayde had the annoying habit of treating anything new as if it should have existed some years prior to its actual invention.
When given something from her own past, it took her a moment or two to remember how it actually worked. The Archivaas called it the Reverse Connecticut Yankee Effect, and many of them were working on papers about it that only other Archivaas would bother to read.
So far, she had attempted to touch the screen of an early generation iPod, nearly set a turntable stylus on a DVD, and tried to speak to one of the Macintosh personal computers via its mouse. But that last one may have been a joke that only she understood.
Currently, she was arguing with an early AI called Siri. It did not help that it kept giving her instructions.
"I did not understand that," said Siri. "Please preface all questions with 'hey Siri'."
"Hey Siri, yer an asshole."
So far, according to the Archivaas, this was a well-documented reaction to working with early AIs.
"Here's what I've found on that search."
Rael took it away before she could fling it at the wall, and replaced the ancient mobile telephone with a 'gameboy' from a previous decade. It could only play Tetris, but he knew what worked best with the Ambassador. "Here," he said. "Take a breath."
Shayde made a low growling noise, but by the time the relic was handed off, Shayde was in the rhythm of the game. Making up lines that subsequently vanished. For such a simple concept, the game had a lasting power that could not be believed. There were human colonies popping up that had been playing it for thousands of years.
And the repetition had a way of calming Shayde down from her frustrations.
Rael consulted his personal chronometer. "I think that's all we have the patience for, today," he said. "Ambassador? I do believe it's cheesecake o'clock."
"Aaaannnnnnnd... tilt," said Shayde. She turned off the device. "There has got tae be a better way o' verifyin' these relics as genuine."
"My apologies," said Rael, "but your legoresia is not legally valid as you're the only one who can do that. We'd need a minimum of three others who can replicate that skill or phenomenon, each of a different species, before the courts would allow it."
Shayde blew a raspberry, indicating her general opinion of the Galactic Legal System. "Dunno about you, but mine's goin' tae be dipped in chocolate, then batter, then deep fried."
"And dusted with powdered sugar?" Rael suggested.
"After the day I had? Dipped in caramel sauce an' then dusted."
Wow. This had been a frustrating session. "You should remember most of those things, I don't understand the difficulty."
"Change is the way o' nature an' all. Ye get used tae the way of 'now' and when ye try tae go back t' 'then', it all goes pants."
"That's not true for all cogniscents," he said.
"Aye, the people o' Greater Deregulation are tryin' tae live in the 1740's or sommat."
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / Penywise]
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