Challenge #01590-D129: Concerned Citizens
This is like watching a train-wreck and the 1812 Overture happening simultaneously. -- RecklessPrudence
The Good Gastronomy Association had been trying to ban Unsuitable Food for decades. They protested that too many people were indulging too often in imbalanced, improper, and unscientific nutrition. The people opposing them protested that that was kind of the point. While it was possible to live forever on Nutri-Food, with all its variations in taste, flavour, and presentation, it was also a very dull life.
There is something contrary about cogniscents in general and humans in particular that makes them crave that which is unhealthy for them. Besides, the protestors against the GGA argued, everyone who chooses Unsuitable Food knows exactly what it is. It's right there in the name.
But now representatives of the GGA were gathered on the observation deck of Unsuitable Food Eat[1] and watching Shayde teaching a small horde of Gyiiks how to make ancient, Terran, Unsuitable Food. So far, they had counted seventeen flagrant violations of nutritional balance, and she hadn't finished making the beef patties yet.
"Oh Powers," one of them whispered. "It's like watching a train wreck happening to the 1812 Overture. Cannons and all."
"Didn't somebody do that? I think there was a whitewashed Native American in it..."
"No, that was the William Tell Overture. Completely different opus. The 1812's the one they used to use for army recruitment advertising."
"Are those brioche buns? They have more carbohydrates than any other bread," complained another of their number. "In combination with the deep fried potato strips, the carb load of this alleged meal is through the roof."
"I may remind you," said one of the non-humans in the GGA assembly, "that not every species has the same metabolic rate as your own. Those with faster or hotter metabolisms may find appropriate fuelling from this combination."
"We are concerned," said the Chapter Chair, "about the recent craze for pre-shattering Terran cultural elements. That creature is the leading cause. And she's the leading instigator of dangerous habits that others may wish to attempt."
"She's got pre-sliced cheese! How did she get pre-sliced cheese! Has that been irradiated for our safety? Does she know how many cleanliness clauses she's breaking?"
"Case," said the Chapter Chair with a slight flourish, "in point. This creature and her knowledge base are too dangerous for the rest of Galactic Society. She's already polluting everything we've made with this... irresponsible cuisine."
"Are you suggesting we team up with the Good Thoughts Brigade to... police her into proper behaviour."
"I'm suggesting we keep her in a terrarium environment for her own safety and the safety of others," said the Chapter Chair. "It's the only right and moral thing to do."
"People who talk about restricting others' freedoms," said Officer Lyr Marken, Chief of Security for the JOAT quarter of the Elemeno, "especially in regards to mutual safety, have no business engaging in safety measures. The cheese is printed. The food is already prepared in an Unsuitable Food kitchen. The individual currently named Shayde F. Pitt is under observation. You have no real need for concern."
Three more, rather larger, security people just happened to be standing nearby. One happened to be leaning their hand on their stunner holster.
"We're not looking for trouble," said the one who was concerned about cheese.
"Good. I do prefer people to act that way. Nevertheless, people concerned too much for others' safety keep on finding it somehow. And since it's my job to prevent trouble, I heartily suggest that all of you move along and find constructive things to do."
[1]: While many cogniscents choose to avoid Gyiikish cooking and Gyiikish serving sizes, the actual cooking process itself is quite fascinating to watch. Rather like cake frosting videos but with more choreography.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / draghicich]
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