Challenge #01543-D082: No More Tea!
"What are They doing here?" he pointed to a pile of colourful objects.
"Oh, the Tea Cosies, we find them very handy in the Experimental Maths Lab."
Kudos for referencing The Goodies, "I'm a Tea pot! I'm a Tea pot" meltdowns. -- Anon Guest
"People actually go mad and think they're tea pots?" said Kerl. "That happens?"
"Not... quite," allowed Mars, who was the head of the department. "Have you any understanding of five-dimensional math?"
"I don't think five people alive have an understanding of five-dimensional math," allowed Kerl.
"Well, in order to do it properly, there's side-effects. One of which is a calculation that, when done incorrectly, allows the mathematician to hallucinate that they are a tea pot. It's quite realistic."
Now Kerl took a pace away, as if becoming a tea pot was infectious. "You've done that?"
"Once or twice. Being a silver samovar was interesting. I wouldn't do it twice. Depending on which mistake you make, you could become silver, crockery, or fine china. One guy I knew forgot to carry the two and became a 24-carat gold teapot for half an hour."
Another pace away. "And the tea cosies are for...?"
"Comfort. When reality starts to reassert itself, the instinct is to stay warm, and--" The door to the lab thrust open. Emerging on the other side was a haggard-looking cogniscent with eyes that saw only abject horror. Without a further word, Mars handed over a particularly floral tea cosy. The haggard mathematician then curled up in a nearby corner and whistled monotonously to himself.
"Forgot the Brellax transformation," diagnosed Mars. "She'll be fine after half an hour and a jammy dodger."
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / leungchopan]
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