Challenge #01502-D041: Inconvenienced
“In my opinion, a problem derails your life and an inconvenience is not being able to get a nice seat on the un-derailed train.” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence
"This is an enormous problem," opined the Ambassador for Greater Deregulation (Second West). "And if we have a problem, then you're going to have a problem."
This sounded like a threat... but the logic behind it escaped Drixal. "I beg your pardon," she said. "I was under the impression that you needed vital soil regeneration techniques from us. How is this a problem?"
"The problem is that you aren't the fellow we started the deal with."
"Of course not. Praxx was a minor trader and low-grade scavenger with no authority to complete the deal. The identity of the one dealing with you is a mere inconvenience. I am much further up the heirarchy and therefore able to expedite the transaction."
"You can't be," scoffed the Ambassador Don. "You're a woman. I demand to speak to your boss. Put him on the line. Your existence is an affront to our freedoms."
What? Drixal kept a neutral face. "Sir, there are no males working above me. As Ambassador in Evidence, my boss would be none other than the Brood Queen of my hive. She has state duties, and has deferred to me as her legal adjunct. Males in our society are not trusted in important tasks. They are too emotional."
"Too emotional?" The human on the other end of the comm link repeated that phrase with increasing disbelief and anger. They seemed to be making their point by yelling as loud as they can and not allowing Drixal a word in edgewise. Most of the words that shot out of their mouths with flecks of frothy spittle made no sense in or out of context.
She waited politely for them to finish. Or nearly pass out from the lack of air. They reached a standstill with smug grins on their pale, floppy faces. As if they saw her as a rude interloper who had just been Educated.
"Males do not have the authority to trade," said Drixal. "If you do not wish to do business with a female, then this trade is cancelled."
Now they threatened her and her hive with battle, war, and heinous death. The calmer she remained, the angrier they got. They yelled about their weaponry. They yelled about the might of their population. They yelled about how it would be so easy for them to just take over the Zz'zz'k and then take what they wanted. Their god, apparently, was on their side. They could launch everything at her and her hive in a matter of seconds.
Having assessed their weapons and knowing she had countermeasures that would render them useless, Drixal said, "Go ahead. Launch everything. Once you get our technology, you'll need a living Zz'zz'k to teach you how to use it. Unfortunately, if your weapons are as effective as you say they are, there will be neither technology nor Zz'zz'k remaining. And you will still have... what did your distress call say? Dwindling food supplies, a population sinking into famine and disease, and the majority of your planet turning into a dust bowl. Alternately, we can leave... and let you decide whether the help that is here outweighs the help that may not arrive in time."
One of the human males on the other side of the commlink slammed his hands on a large, red button. Drixal watched out the window as hundreds of missiles struggled into orbit, and then failed to detonate.
"And for no extra charge," Drixal added, "we will remove those fission bombs from your orbit before they become... a problem."
As if to prove her point, a small swarm of scavenger vessels emerged from the central hive and scooped up the warheads. Fissionables had some limited value in certain sections of the Galactic Alliance. They just had to render it safe for transit. And the irradiated metals that the humans used could have uses... somewhere... maybe some other Deathworlders would pay for it, someday.
"Now," said Drixal, still calm and collected, unlike the red-faced and raging males who wanted to appear near her in person and somehow beat their way into being victorious, "Do we have a deal, or do you wish to keep your problem?"
They took a very long time to decide.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / dolgachov]
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