Challenge #01465-D004: The Wrong Question
English is... well... it's a Germanic language where sixty percent of it is based on Latin.
That should tell you everything you need to know about how awful a language English is. -- RecklessPrudence
The current meeting of the Society for the Preservation of Original English wound to a cold halt. "Who let the linguist in?" demanded someone in the assembly hall.
"Uh," said the unexpected linguist. "This isn't a language study group?"
The Chair-being took a deep breath. "This is the society for the preservation of original english. Not the study of its roots. Not the examination of where it came from. We preserve it. In its pristine form."
"Um. So... which variant of English are you talking about, then?"
"No, don't ask that," the leader shouted, but too late. Far too late.
Two hundred SPOEns began talking at once. Began arguing at once. Began arguing in their favourite variants of English at once. Even the Chair got involved, in-between rapping their gavel for some form of order.
It finished, as these things always did, with each member in silenced cells until they cooled down, calmed down, and shut up for five consecutive minutes.
The Chair of the SPOEns waited for their linguist. "I'm sorry you had to witness that. We're... usually better-behaved."
"What did I do? Why were they all so... ferocious?"
"English is not just an art. It is... a state of mind. And for anyone thinking of entering SPOEn, we always advise that you never, ever ask that question. You should have received the orientation material."
"I... couldn't read it. It was in Ogham."
The Chair winced, pinched the bridge of their nose, and uttered a Gaelic curse. "Bloody Felweather... Again!"
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / sippakorn]
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