The Experiences a Black virgin passed through

“Segun, for Christ’s sake, why are you being persistent about this?” Ronke threw up her hands in exasperation. 

“You of all people know this is absolutely wrong, we can’t do this. I really love you but I can’t allow this.”

“See Ronke, I know we are supposed to abstain from pre-marital sex, I even talked about it in bible study two weeks ago,” Segun said, 

“but you need to understand I am a man, I have needs, I have urges. It’s becoming so strong and my love for you is not making it easy either.” 

He placed his hands in his pockets and turned to face her. He was clearly agitated.

“I have needs too, Segun, but these needs have to wait till marriage to be met, I love you too and—”

“Are you really sure about that?” Segun countered, “because if it is as strong as mine for you, you will understand me, we will be on the same pedestal.”

“God! Segun, I can’t believe you are saying this, and you know where we both stand in Christ, we are both—”

“Excos in fellowship and children of God, yes I know that, but I also know that fresh and hot blood flow through my veins.” 

He removed his hands from his pockets and grabbed the rails. “I think we need a break, Ronke, at least for us to cool off. I need to think about us.”

“A break? Till when? How?”

“I don’t know, I really need to settle some things. Look, I have to go now. I have SOC 411 by 7 am tomorrow and Professor will not tolerate lateness, you know.”

“Can I call you tomorrow after class?”

“Did you hear what I said at all? A break means no contact, please.” He replied as he left her at the sports complex of the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife.

Tears rolled down the face of Ronke. She was so confused about it all, she didn’t even know if to call him back or just allow him be.

A break? What’s happening? Lord, what do I do now? I am so confused! I know what your word says yet my heart is hurting, my body aches for the one I love? I am on the verge of losing him.

She had been with Segun for the past two years and they had been so sure God was calling them to be together forever. Segun was the bible study secretary of their fellowship and she was the assistant choir director. When they started courting, it was with strong conviction in their hearts that God wanted them to be together, until when they started having sexual pressures. She actually knew how he felt… ever since Segun had kissed her there at the sports complex, holding on has been difficult. Yet she knew it was sin to do so and had made up her mind never to do it again until marriage. What would she do now?

Lord, are you there? Are you listening to me? Is it ok for all these guys to leave just because I say no each time? I am in my final year Lord, if Segun puts an end to our relationship, won’t I fall into the category of sisters waiting for brothers to approach them after refusing those that came in their prime? I am so confused! Lord please help me. Please, please…

A month later, Ronke was walking along the sidewalk on her way to the Faculty of Social Sciences, when she sighted Segun with a cute lady, his arms around her as they made their way to the amphitheater, barely three days after breaking it up finally! That was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. She felt like someone just rubbed salt to her wounds.

She changed her direction back to the sports complex, a place of prayer and comfort for so many. She reached the Main Bowl and walked down to a far corner, and then burst out crying, Oh Segun, how could you? How could you?

She couldn’t take it anymore. That would be the third guy that had left her because she refused to sleep with either of them. Of the three, Segun was the most promising—a child of God, handsome, had a sense of humour and was from a good home.

Lord, why is this happening to me? Why? I love you Lord but I love Segun too! Why did you allow him to leave me, why? If he, your child too, could want to sleep with me, isn’t it right to do so? We were going to get married! Lord I am so confused!

If you know how much I love you, Darling Daughter, your heart will not be this weary. Only if you know what I planned for you before the foundations of the world, hence the commandments I laid down in the scriptures—I wanted sex in a relaxed atmosphere for you, one with no shame, no desperation to please or to do difficult things to make him stay and not leave, and that can only happen in marriage- a place where he would have already made a commitment to stay with you before enjoying the pleasures of your body. That was why I said it is a sin against yourself, allowing him to take pleasures from you without the forever commitment to take care of your body, soul and spirit, through thick and thin.

“It is so true according to my word, that I love you so deeply that I call you my daughter. The enemy of your soul hates you so much, hence he has set things in place to weaken your mind and make you feel you need sex now, that you must have it now—pornography, sex adverts, TV series— he polluted everywhere, so as to deprive you of your full blessing.

“But I have given you an escape through my word— you are only to think of things that are of virtue and praiseworthy—the Bible, books, good films, and you know if they are good or not. Why don’t you focus on these things, your mind must not be blank at any point in time.

“I have a daughter like you who has saturated her library with books and films made by Christians. Though she is not free from temptation, she is well able to overcome because she recognised my place of escape for her and took it!

“Aderonke, concerning the man you will marry, I have already settled you, wait for him, Beloved.”

Ronke felt like the balm of Gilead had indeed been used to massage her heart, she felt a peace she couldn’t explain even to herself. Thank you Jesus, she silently prayed.

She made up her mind there and then, she was going to wait for that man that deserved her body, her waiting…

**Three years later**

Ronke stood at the left hand side of her groom, before the Lord, her pastor and all witnesses to say ‘I do’ with peace in her heart and gratitude to the lord. The wait was indeed worth it, Toba deserved her body of all men she had met. He actually proved it, he was a God lover who poured the same love on her. He always said she was God’s daughter and so he had to take care of God’s possession! Can you imagine? She couldn’t imagine how she would have felt now if she had allowed the other guys to sleep with her.

He deserved the gift tonight, all of me, she thought as the groom removed her veil in preparation for their first kiss……

Author: Adeyinka Oresanya

Source: Okada