Today Again: A Novel for steemit by dreemit Chapter Five

If you missed out on Chapter Four click here

Chapter Five

Lissa woke with a jolt, sitting up so fast her brain hurt. She shut her eyes tightly for a moment to alleviate the resulting sharp pain, and rubbed her temples as awareness crept in. It was tomorrow. Shit. She cracked her eyes open and glanced at Tyler’s side of the bed, glad he wasn’t still there. Her feelings toward him were a touch more complicated than they’d been in a long while. Last night he’d actually held her, his arms wrapped tightly around her in a way that said she was important to him like nothing he’d done in over a year. She’d been so drunk that the feeling of confinement- which would normally bother her- had actually felt nice.

So, what to do now. Obviously a store bought pregnancy test…but first she should probably prepare him for the possibility that she wasn’t pregnant. She started to giggle and clapped a hand over her mouth. None of that. No matter how funny it was. Her smile faded as she thought about it. Tyler wanted her to be pregnant. Why? It made absolutely no sense. He didn’t have a fatherly bone in his body. Yet he obviously wanted to be one. They’d never discussed a family. They’d been together-well if you included before they’d actually established themselves as something official-two and a half years. Two years if you didn’t. And in all of that time they’d never even discussed the future. Not marriage and certainly not children. They just didn’t have that kind of relationship. Communication was not their strong suit. The giggle threatened once more at the understatement.

What if she was pregnant, she thought suddenly. It was virtually impossible with the birth control she took rigidly…but still, what if? A child with Tyler? A child period? Her stomach rolled at the thought. No. Absolutely not! There was no way in hell she would bring a child into her mess of a life. She wasn’t pregnant, she couldn’t be, and she refused to consider the possibility or the decisions that would have to be made…no.

Her stomach twisted again. Anxiety was a bitch, she was probably lucky she hadn’t developed an ulcer by now…the thought led to another one and her breathing grew shallow as it sunk in. She did not have a hangover. She’d drank well over two bottles of wine and yet not a hint of a headache or nausea, in fact other than fleeting stress-related pangs, she felt physically good. Was that even possible? Especially when it had been a week since she’d last drank, and she generally stuck to beer these days…to not feel any effects at all?

She rolled to the side of the bed and reached for the clock. 10:25. Well, she’d been in bed by one, so she’d had almost nine hours of sleep...maybe that was it. She refused to think otherwise, it was Friday, it had to be. So what if she’d woken at 10:10 in her dream the other night, and so what if it had probably been about fifteen minutes since she’d woken this morning. She hugged herself and this time the pang in her stomach felt more like a stab. Shower, she thought. She couldn’t even begin to deal with the possibility…or impossibility, or whatever the hell…without having first stood under the glorious spray of hot water. She really wished she could have coffee first too, but if…nope, shower first.

After the long shower was over, after taking her time getting dressed, she slowly walked to the top of the stairs.

As she stood there she had the unsettling feeling that it was the gateway to a portal. All she could see at the bottom from this vantage point was the cheap blue carpet and off-white wall of the hallway that led left to the backdoor or into the living room on the right. There was a scuff mark on the wall where a picture of a cabin in the woods used to hang. It had been broken during one of the many rowdy parties this apartment had seen, knocked off the wall and stepped on until the glass had cut into the paper. She missed that painting, had intended to replace it. Intended. She was always intending to do something and never actually doing it. The road to hell, she thought, and involuntarily shivered.

She might not be able to see much of anything, but she could hear music and voices. Nothing odd about that, especially after a big party, lots of people usually crashed. There had been times so many people stayed over that she would find herself tripping over bodies to get to the kitchen in the morning. She leaned forward slightly but couldn’t make out what was being said since the music was a touch louder than they were, so no clues to whether or not…she shook her head. It was not possible. The first time had been a dream. A really long, detailed and vivid dream...her throat dried up completely and it took a massive effort to swallow. She considered fleeing to her room and climbing back in bed except she knew she’d just lay there thinking about it.

No choice, she had to descend.

She was aware of each step she took, aware of the downstairs hall getting closer; she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this aware of the moment. Something about that thought made her stop but she was distracted almost instantly by a shriek of laughter. Not just any laughter, redhead’s laughter. God she hated that sound. She hadn't realized how much until this moment. She took the last few steps without noticing and turned the corner into the living room then stopped short. Same people sitting in virtually the same places. And when Tyler looked up at her from the couch? Not a hint of…well anything. Her eyes flicked to the red-head who was lounging in the armchair once again. Once again she began to feel faint, and once again Tyler jumped up and grabbed a hold of her, asking if she was okay.

“What day is it?” She managed to push out through her constricted throat.

He laughed, “Last I heard it was Thursday…”

“Lissa!!”

She blinked and stared up at him.

“Fuck! You scared the shit out of me!” Tyler said sharply as he carried her to the couch and situated her so she was straddling him. He put his hands on her cheeks,
“Talk to me, are you okay, should I call someone…

“No!” She said quickly. “No, I’m okay.”

“You passed out,” he stated the obvious.

She nodded slowly, his hands moving with her head. “I know, sorry, it’s okay, I’m okay.”

He stared at her. “You passed out,” he repeated, “something has to be wrong. I mean it’s eleven in the morning and you were in bed by midnight so it can’t be lack of sleep.”

One, her mind corrected…wait no, not last night, he was talking about Wednesday night. He knew what time she’d gone to sleep? She’d never thought he’d cared enough to pay attention. She reached up between his arms and touched his cheek, watching his brow go up in question. Huh. How much of their issues were actually because of her? She’d assumed he hadn’t cared about her for nearly the whole past year, mainly because of his other women, but what if her assumptions were wrong? Oh who the fuck was she kidding, obviously they were wrong…

“Liss?” Tyler’s brow was still in the air, his hands still on her face, his tone one of growing concern.

“Do you love me Ty?” She asked in response.

His brows drew together and he released her face, running a hand down his goatee. “What kind of question is that?”

She followed his eyes as he darted a glance at red-head. He looked back at her quickly, but she shifted on his lap and kept her gaze on the other girl who returned the stare, her lips curving into a sneer. “I don’t think red likes that question either,” she said quietly.

“Don’t start with that Liss…

She climbed off him and walked over to the girl, folding her arms across her chest.
“Get out of my apartment,” she said evenly, “now.”

“Liss…” Tyler began.

She put up a hand to halt his words, keeping her eyes on red.

“What’s your problem?” The girl demanded.

“My problem is that my boyfriend can’t keep his dick in his pants, but I’ve decided that at the very least I shouldn’t have to look at the skanky twat he’s sticking it in.”

Loud surprised laughter erupted from Gary on the other side of the room. “Holy shit Lissa, I didn’t think you had it in you!”

She ignored him, keeping her eyes on the unwanted guest.

Red-head finally stood, her eyes narrowing. “Well maybe if you didn’t lay there like a blow up doll he might stick it in you more often,” she hissed.

“Whoa, hey!” Tyler got to his feet as Lissa turned around to face him. He looked past her, “You heard my girl, get out you lying bitch!”

“Lying? You’re seriously going to…

“You better shut your fucking mouth!” Tyler started forward and Lissa blocked him, putting her hands on his chest.

“Stop it,” she commanded, “it doesn’t matter. I already know, you don’t have to play this stupid game, she just has to leave because if she doesn’t, I will.”

“Don’t worry, I’m going!”

Lissa heard the sound of the door slam and addressed the rest of the room loudly,

“Good, now the rest of you follow her, Tyler and I need to have a little chat.” She kept her gaze steady on Ty, daring him to contradict her. He glared, but said nothing. She heard the rustle of people ushering out and when the last of them were gone she took him by surprise, grabbing the back of his head and pulling him to her mouth, kissing him furiously.

“What…” he started when she pulled back.

“Shut up, it’s my show,” she told him. He closed his mouth and she found she didn’t know exactly what she wanted to do from here. She’d asked him if he loved her, but what did it matter if she didn’t return his feelings? And what was the point of demanding the truth from him when she already knew and his admission would do nothing to change what she felt about it? And why in the fuck was she repeating the same day over and over? She felt the faintness return and swallowed thickly. She’d actually managed to push that rather large detail to the side, her overwhelming need to get that slut out of her house taking precedence, but now…she swayed.

“Shit!” Tyler gripped the sides of her head, “don’t pass out again, what the hell is going on with you?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered, tears springing to her eyes. His eyes darted to her stomach. She knew what that meant, but this time she didn’t have the urge to laugh. As his gaze bounced from her stomach to her face than back again it gave her a sudden inspiration. Before he could voice his thoughts she said, “Can I take the car to the pharmacy, there’s something I need to get.”

He stared at her and slowly nodded his head. He cleared his throat, “Yeah, uh yeah, the keys are in the kitchen drawer.”

“Okay, I won’t be long.”

He nodded again, looking dazed and she went upstairs to retrieve her money stash along with her purse. She came back down and he was still standing in the same spot, his eyes unfocused, his coloring slightly pale as she went to the kitchen and grabbed the keys. She was nearly out the door when he stopped her.

“Wait, what if you get dizzy again and pass out at the wheel? Let me drive you.”

Fuck. She turned to him and shook her head, “No, I’ll be fine, please just let me do this.”

He stared at her uncertainly, his arm outstretched as if he’d meant to physically stop her but had forgotten to move.

“Please Ty.”

His brows drew in, but his arm dropped to his side and he didn't move to stop her as she walked out the door.

**

Caleb’s eyes opened and he stared at the poster until his vision doubled. He blinked and took a deep breath letting it out slow. Okay. So not a dream. Which meant either a coma or purgatory. He’d never given much thought to an after-life, but if this was indeed purgatory than it meant…what? That he had to pay for his sins? Redeem himself? And if he failed did hell await him? Heaven if he passed? Heaven. He pictured angels floating around and singing, a blissful smile on their ethereal faces and wrinkled his nose. If that’s what he had to look forward to than he’d rather stay right where he was. He pulled in a breath and blew it through his teeth. Coma, he decided, his mind could wrap itself around that.

He threw his legs over the side of the bed and leaned his elbows on his knees, dropping his head in his hands and rubbing his eyes as he yawned. It really intrigued him that he was so aware of everything, including the yawn. It all felt so real.

He leaned over and retrieved his cell-phone, he would not be sitting through meetings today. If it turned out he was wrong, that he was actually repeating a day and the loop ended without warning, well then he'd swallow his pride and meet with Dr. Douchebag with a more in depth version of the "my daddy died and I need to forgive myself" sob story. He could be very persuasive and charming when he wanted to be, he was sure he'd work something out.

A smile crept across his face as he recalled the events of the night before. Now that was something he wouldn’t mind repeating. If he was going to be stuck in this loop, he could think of worse ways to pass the time then ending up in bed with three open-minded sluts.

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