Take These Eyes For I Have Seen - A short story for Steemit. 24 hour short story contest!
This is a submission for @mctiller's ongoing 24-hour Short Story Contest. He has hosted these contests for awhile, and there have always been wonderful stories written for them. I highly recommend you taking time and looking over the posts.
The prompt for this contest was:
A lonely man develops the ability to see through walls.
Take These Eyes For I Have Seen
By T. Dalton
“God damn these eyes,” Samuel Farmworth said out loud. The old man struggled to get out of bed and turn on the light. The eyes were acting up again. Floaters, overcoming his vision even in the dark. He’d took his sleeping pills but hell if they did anything. The doctor must have botched the prescription again. Of course he did.
Source: Anatomical engraving from Henry Gray’s Anatomy, 1858.
I love the milieu of absolute grime he lives in and that being able to see through walls does nothing for him. It's a unique if miserable characterization.
HA!
The emotional journey is immense. I really like that he doesn't blame her, nor does he see it as her leaving him. Beautifully told and hair raising. Might need to go cry myself now!
Well written. You give motive and meaning to the character's final moment.
Thanks for reading, @cyemela
Hello @dirge, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine. The Creative Crypto is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!
Thanks for the support @creativecrypto
I enjoyed this! Sam's loneliness and the squalor he lives in are palable, and there are several memorable scenes. The standout moment for me is that memory of his wife, when she would wake, and see him standing near, and smile. Respect.
Thanks for reading. Happy to hear that you enjoyed reading my writing.