My100: Original One-Page Story Hooks 91 and 92

in #fiction7 years ago

The challenge: 100 first-page story hooks in sixty days. Just the first page (or less), and it has to hook the reader to want more. I'm now into the home stretch, and it's been a very long and interesting ride.

Ninety-one has been waiting a long time, and I'd very much like to finish it, since it's all in my head and just needs fingers and time now. Ninety-two I don't know what to do with. It's another from my writing notebook, and until I wrote it down today I didn't have any idea that someone was killed in it.

Ninety-one:

The Grand Vizier strode into the throne room and knelt before King Lonnus, touching a knee to the thick brocaded carpet before rising without being bidden. He was halfway to his feet before he realized this, and hesitated with a glance at the throne, but King Lonnus just grinned and shook his head. “Karolus, you know I don’t care about that stuff. You didn’t even have to kneel in the first place.”

“But your majesty, it’s tradition,” Karolus said.

“We could do with less of it, then. But you’ve arrived unannounced, judging by your half-dead horse you’ve come a long way, your boots are dusty and there’s a rip in your cloak two feet long. This doesn’t suggest good news.”

“No, your majesty.” The Grand Vizier cleared his throat. “There’s been a prophecy. You won’t like what it says.”

King Lonnus raised his eyebrows. “What makes you think I’m going to care what it says?”


Photo Credit

Ninety-two:

Moira’s white skin shone even on a campus of alabaster. And Nani’s skin got darker every day.

I couldn’t help being in love with Moira. Power radiated from her like light from a star, and everything it touched crumbled. Nani was my friend, and everything around her was made better just by her being there.

When Moira killed Nani I suppose it was inevitable; certainly no one seemed surprised, and though everyone on campus knew who it must have been, no one even pulled Moira aside for a chat.

But it destroyed the world anyway. I think I was the only one that knew.

~Cristof

P.S. This series is the brainchild of The New Creatives, which challenged us to create 100 of something as a way of attaining mastery of a particular art form (or beginning the process, more like). This is my attempt. #TNCmy100

Sort:  

I really liked #91 but was shaking my fist at you for stopping where you did. Grr! #92 confused me for a bit but then you brought it home at the end and hooked me. (shakes fist again) These were great!

Precisely the hoped-for reactions! I'm glad that after doing this for more than two months I'm developing some skill at it.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.19
TRX 0.15
JST 0.029
BTC 63818.94
ETH 2624.28
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.78