Whale Song
She was looking at a vast, open space and it didn't scare the hell out of her. Melanie gripped the railing on the side of the boat and gazed out to sea. Maybe it was just her excitement overriding the agoraphobia? Today was the day--the day she'd see her first whale.
This story has been removed by author.
The people who helped me edit it--who made it the marvelous story it was so it won the contest and got a curie--they're all members at @ink-ubator.
I loved this story since I read the first draft. What people will not know from reading this is how much work Bex put into the draft to polish it to this perfection. Amazing writing, amazing work ethic and it shows. This is beautiful. Great work Bex!
Huh. I did not expect that at all, but I like it! If I wasn't so burnt out on trying to write this Write Club story, I'd analyze it a bit further. Something about self expression and stimuli, but I dunno.
Ha. "Coffee." "Joe." Like a cup of joe?
My Write Club story has a "Joseph or Joe" in it, and now I'm wondering if I'm sullying Joseph's name... :P
The Coffee-Joe thing did not occur to me. But I don't drink the stuff. I'm one of those CoffeeHater people.
Gasp
I second @josie2214’s reaction!
But eh, I can’t really blame you. In all seriousness, coffee is disgusting. But I love it :P
You did so great with this, Bex. The story had me at the first draft. All that followed only made it more beautiful. You just made me cry again. I think that's the third time I read this version and it still hits me that hard. Hugs
What a fantastic short story this is. The magical realism employed gives the piece such gravitas. Great work!
But you know I wasn't planning all that stuff... it just came out.
Sometimes the best stuff in a story is the stuff that isn't planned :)
Nice work, @bex-dk! I love how this evolved through the editing process. And you convey that feeling of freedom from the things that made your character feel broken so beautifully.
I was NOT expecting that ending. She turned into a whale?!
How appropriate for a short Steem story.
The description of the whale swimming in the end was fascinating because it was as if really experiencing what a person might in the unlikely event of transforming into a whale. The bubbles and rainbows and whalesong.
Good story!
Wow man tak
Beautiful, fun story. You've left a big smile on my face.
You totally caught me by surprise when Melanie leapt over the railing... and it was pure joy after that.
😄😇😄
Well, technically she didn't leap... she was floating before that.
Re-reading that part, I can see that now... However, as a first-time reader, when Coffee said "You're floating," I took it as metaphorical. It was only when she went over the rail that the real surprise occurred... :D
@bex-dk this is such a beautiful story! I'm so sorry I never got a chance to read it while it was in the queue, but it was worth the wait.