The Alienbutt Saga, Book 1. War of the Coffee Bean. Part 23.

Piestoff had stayed in the Outer Systems working as a bounty hunter while gathering any information he could on who was behind the massive fleet that they had fought against. All leads from the prisoners had drawn a blank. The lizard-faced Trolls who had seemed to run the enemy fleet were a genetically bred species and a suicide cult that had all died from poison within hours of the end of the battle. They had never been seen before and the technology of the ships was untraceable. His life was changing fast and while his friends had all gone their own ways, he didn’t feel lonely any more, knowing they were out there if he needed them.

He had quickly become known around the bars and hangouts of the bounty hunters in the Outer Systems. His actions in the battles at Crazy Droid and the fact that he had quickly collected a number of bounties had given him a growing reputation as one of the best of a new generation of hunters. The fact that he always appeared drunk and chewing on food that could melt a hole in metal made the many stories surrounding him grow in each telling. Added to this was his flamboyant dress sense that made him stand out around the sombre hunters, many of whom had never heard of a codpiece, never mind one encrusted with jewels. Those who at first had thought him a joke had to reassess with each new bounty he claimed. claimed. Now none of them laughed when he entered a bar and none now tried to pick a fight with him because of his odd appearance. He had got to know many of the most respected bounty hunters and even the huge commander Duke Ramboe who controlled the Outer Systems bounty operation was reported to have been on a number of drinking sessions with the odd, fat-arsed Alienbutt.
There was a knock at Piestoff’s office door and his First Officer walked in. Thrumbar was a twenty year veteran of the Ick Navy, who, along with the other fifteen crew members, had been hand-picked by Wickede.
“Alienbutt, we will be at the Hunters Rest in the Drooling System within the hour. Did you bother to read the report I left on your desk?”
Piestoff scanned around the desk and noticed the vid-screen report half covered by a cold kebab from last night. “Could you just refresh my memory Thrumbar? I promise I read it,” he asked with a grin. He never read the reports, and every time, Thrumbar had to go over them.
With a shake of his head Thrumbar walked over to a small box on the wall, opened it and took out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. He had quickly learnt that the best way to make Alienbutt pay attention was to use the whiskey method; dangle the bottle in front of him with a couple of glasses and make it quick.
“You only get the two drink refresh today, Alienbutt. Why I put up with you, I don’t know. You’re a waste of space. Do you even know who you’re hunting this time?” Thrumbar poured two drinks and sat down. Pushing the half-eaten kebab off the vid-screen, he slid it over to Alienbutt, then continued. “Pirate by the name of Borgus; hiding out in the asteroid belts of Greater Ashia Minor. We’re meeting a local guide at the Hunters Rest by the name of Ruck Bodgers. He’s a total slob so you should hit it off well, but he does know that area of the asteroid belts better than anyone.”
“Why are we going for this pirate anyway? Sounds like it’s gonna be a lot of searching for someone who’s been quiet for a good few months now.” Alienbutt reached over and started to pick at the kebab. “The bounty on him is not massively high. Why has this one been chosen as the next job, Thrumbar?”

Thrumbar reached over and took the vid-screen. “If you can bring this one to ground, it will further boost your reputation. He’s been chased by some of the best hunters but no one has collected yet. You catch him, it’s good; you don’t, then we lose nothing.”
Piestoff picked up the bottle of whiskey, ignoring the two glasses, and began to drink. “Who’s this Ruck guy?” he asked as he picked more pieces of meat from the kebab.
“Ruck’s a crazy loner who lives out somewhere beyond the Sandpits System.” Thrumbar paused, getting a strange feeling of deja vu, then taking a deep breath he continued. “Walks both side of the law but you can trust him once he takes your credits, plus he knows more about this whole area than anyone so he could have information on those trolls.”

Wickede sat in his private dining room. The vast palace of the Ick leaders had been built centuries before by Rickede the Great. As far as Wickede could tell, the title ‘Great’ must have been applied for him building a palace so large it needed its own transport system to avoid the two days it took you to walk from one side to the other. The Ick Empire had been in existence for over three thousand years, from the pre-space time to the empire of over thirty worlds as it now stood. For the last two thousand years it had been guided by the prophecies of the Book of Ick but now those writings were becoming of less use. Alienbutt was the chosen one, the one who had no destiny. The more he achieved, the more those prophecies became less accurate. He didn’t appear directly in the book but rather was mentioned in the third party. Wickede knew that something bad would happen to him soon and only “The crashing of the stinky one’s ship would return him.”
They knew that there were two possible futures and those futures had split after Alienbutt’s birth, at first only slightly but now they were going in opposite directions as the ripples of anything Alienbutt did spread in ever increasing circles. Coming out of his reverie he looked around his private dining room. It could easily seat over four thousand, yet he usually ate alone or with a few of his advisors when the business of running the empire dragged on into dinner time. At the moment he sat eating cheese on toast while Snoodgrass read a few reports that couldn’t wait until tomorrow.
Suddenly Snoodgrass stopped his reading and jumped up excitedly. “We need to clear your diary and get a fleet ready to travel first thing in the morning. If this report is correct then we’ve just had a major breakthrough in space travel.”
“If it doesn’t involve me being back by the afternoon I’m not leaving the planet.” Wickede finished off his toast with a resigned look on his face He had been looking forward to visiting Lady Sherbert tomorrow night. Snoodgrass knew about that and probably was doing this on purpose. purpose. Snoodgrass didn’t approve of the Lady Sherbert, seeing her as not really the right sort of lady to be the next Empress of the Ick. The fact that she had intimate knowledge of quite a few of the ruling council probably clouded his judgement. Wickede suspected it was more likely the fact that she was leader of the opposition and often locked horns with Snoodgrass in the council chambers; and she was just as smart and sneaky as him.

To be continued.
Thanks for reading.
All images are mine.